Mitch (IFRIT)

Any deer hunters out yonder?

34 posts in this topic

Curious if there are any fellow deer hunter who can relate to this unfortunate chain of events that have transpired over the last few weeks.  

I went behind my house today for the 100th time this deer season to find a buck. There has been this red squirrel that I have been in this Minnesotan style passive aggressive feud with. For weeks he has sounded the alarm next to my stand. I've contemplated shooting him, but I resorted to pouring water on him when he is below my stand. For the first couple times this trick worked. He would scramble into the woods and failed to be seen again for the remainder of the day. But today was no ordinary day; he had back-up and a plan of attack. This red squirrel that I have given the same of "Shit Stick" came around as the usual at sun-up. He chattered and made a ridiculous amount of sound in the woods. Some how this 12oz creature/daemon managed to break big sounding sticks. I usually disregarded Shit Stick's sounds and his shenanigans. But never before had it sounded like trees in the forest were falling. I heard these new and unusual sounds and readied my rifle. I slowed my breathing and scanned the area without moving my head. I awaited the grand finale of a 30 point buck to appear in my field of view. I saw some gradual movement in my right peripheral vision. The so called "Buck Fever" had set in and I could hardly contain my excitement for that days on end I have been sitting in a 16ft swaying tree stand in the northern Minnesota climate. Today my dedication to this tree, these woods and the animals was finally going to pay off, so I thought. The noise had stopped for a second that can be best attributed to a break before the drop in today's EDM songs. I knew this creature was close, I checked and re-checked my safety and I had given myself the metaphorical green light.

Just as a drag car on the race strip would anticipate the Light tree hitting green .500 seconds after the final yellow light. I looked to my right and my heart stopped. It was almost like time had frozen and my brain delayed the chemical response to what I was seeing. It felt like I was yelling at myself to tell the voice in my head what my eyes were seeing. There stood strong a 3 deep Red squirrel army. These Red bandits had launched their final attack on this dawn. They too, like me had been preparing for this day. They left no detail to spare per say. They climbed up the birch tree next to mine and boarded this ship like in the old pirate days. My water cannon would be rendered useless, and my rifle would cause more harm to my eardrums than to dispatch one of the enemies. Once all 3 of the Red armed bandits had boarded my ship, they slowly made their way down the mast. They screamed their war cry, and they bared their teeth. I threw my hunting regulation book at them in an attempt to instill some squirrel like Geneva rights. My 21st century war techniques proved useless to these mid evil war heroes. They continued to push on my position like a old fashioned Asylum cartel push against an enemy sniper encampment. I realized in this moment that the woods all had an alliance. From the membrane that connects all living trees to the old fashioned myth of a 30 point bucks. I rendered my white handkerchief and fixated it in my hand like a WW1 bayonet. I waved it proudly as i was out numbered, out gunned and out smarted. These Red armed bandits may have won this ship, but soon the lakes will freeze. And I will return for my vengeance once again. 

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2 hours ago, Heidelberg said:

tldr didnt read i dont care idc

Nobody's gonna read that text man...

Edited by Churu

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Just now, massi said:

berneydidnotread.gif?1318992465

 

25 minutes ago, Churu said:

Nobody's gonna read that text man...

So harsh, no love. It's worth the read................

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Just now, (IFRIT)Mitch said:

 

So harsh, no love. It's worth the read................

fine i will read it

 

i stopped reading after

I've contemplated shooting him, but I resorted to pouring water on him when he is below my stand. "

Edited by massi
Mitch (IFRIT) likes this

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4 minutes ago, massi said:

fine i will read it

 

i stopped reading after

I've contemplated shooting him, but I resorted to pouring water on him when he is below my stand. "

Keep reading, you're almost there!

 

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Just now, (IFRIT)Mitch said:

Keep reading, you're almost there!

 

feels like I would be wasting my time reading a fake story

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Just now, massi said:

feels like I would be wasting my time reading a fake story

Fake story? Realest thing that has ever happened to me hunting. Theatrical words added for some value.

BlackShot likes this

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58 minutes ago, DreamC said:

Hows that liberal arts degree treating ya?

That's a low blow

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1 hour ago, DreamC said:

Hows that liberal arts degree treating ya?

Well... the degree in criminal justice can be renamed to liberal arts...

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10 minutes ago, (IFRIT)Mitch said:

Well... the degree in criminal justice can be renamed to liberal arts...

Sure

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I genuinely thought that story was hilarious. 

Nice job. I wouldn't resort to shooting the squirrel though, it wouldn't be as funny without them.

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56 minutes ago, Aether said:

I genuinely thought that story was hilarious. 

Nice job. I wouldn't resort to shooting the squirrel though, it wouldn't be as funny without them.

Thanks! I just wished the dam things knew that they mimicked the sound of a deer walking through the woods. 

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I read this because it was the only topic available to be read after surfing the forums for hours. I enjoyed it even do I didn't understand anything other than you getting rekt by squirrels.

 

I think some one got footage of that. Here it is.

Resultado de imagen para cat attack squirrel gif

Edited by Mike Santamaria
Stupid gif didn't work
Mitch (IFRIT) likes this

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21 minutes ago, Mike Santamaria said:

I read this because it was the only topic available to be read after surfing the forums for hours. I enjoyed it even do I didn't understand anything other than you getting rekt by squirrels.

 

I think some one got footage of that. Here it is.

Resultado de imagen para cat attack squirrel gif

That is exactly how it felts. I did get taken advantage of.. 

BioHazard and Mike Stmria like this

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7 hours ago, Aether said:

I genuinely thought that story was hilarious. 

Nice job. I wouldn't resort to shooting the squirrel though, it wouldn't be as funny without them.

^^ 

Mitch (IFRIT) likes this

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3 Retarded Moderators

3 Squirrels

Mitch necro's thread from 2016?

Coincidence? Maby. Hotel? Trivago

 

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