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The Wipe Debate


LaGrange

The Butterfly Effect Poll  

309 members have voted

  1. 1. Sitter or stander?

    • Sitter
      192
    • Stander
      79
    • Hover/Squat
      34
  2. 2. If answered sitter, from behind the back or front?

    • Behind Back
      156
    • Front under the junk
      66
    • N/A
      77
  3. 3. How do you use the toilet paper?

    • Folder
      181
    • Crumble
      80
    • Double-Dip
      20
  4. 4. Do you look at the toilet paper before you throw it in?

    • Yes
      125
    • No
      42


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If you stand to shit you are bat shit crazy can you image someone walking in on you looking like your giving birth to a new race or some kind of monkey learning how to squat and shit? you simply sit, flush as you use the bathroom which takes away the possibility of it splashing on your ass or your balls, and takes/reduces the sound of you farting or that horrible splash noise.  Finally you wipe from front to back, not reverse, otherwise you are smearing shit right under your ball sack and are probably creating dingle berrys.

George likes this
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This is my process.

 

1. I go to the restroom and put the seat down.

2. I take a seat and when i am about to drop a few bombs it teleports out of my anus and into the toilet.

3. I skip wiping because it never left my anus. (it teleported)

4. I get up and teleport back in my chair.

5. 5 seconds later you hear the toilet flush on its own.

~Fin

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Is there seriously anyone here who wipes back to front? Thats definitely a logical way to get shit on your balls. I just always thought everyone did a little gangster lean as they wipe. Standing? Standing and wiping, isn't that what chicks do??? P.S. If you're NOT starting the wipe at the gooch and ending past the butthole, you're wiping the wrong way! AND if you're caught with no toilet paper, just remember you have two solid chances to clean up otherwise... a.k.a your socks

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  • 1 month later...

I levitate 150 km off the ground and have a UAV attached to my head, and a camera taped to my ass. I then have to use a UAV terminal to aim my ass cheeks to the called out coordinates and fire shit artillery the size of a football. I kill my enemies with E. Coli post-Mexican food.

Edited by New York
They call it Juan Man's Shit Is Another's Crap
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  • 4 weeks later...
On 2/2/2016 at 8:00 PM, Scott said:

Why the fuck would you sit? When you take it out, you have a chance to get shit all over your balls..? If you just fucking stand you've got plenty of room to not cover your balls in shit.

wow i've never agreed with scott more.. this is probably the main issue i don't know who got these tiny hands to wipe there ass while on the toilet lmao

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but yeah i don't wipe. 

Clean pinches due to my high fiber diet

and i have a question for those who don't look at the toilet paper. you just gamble whether or not shit is still on ur ass. just like oh thats probably good i think i got it all? lmfao funny ass thread

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 years later...

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