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How to get a pardon


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Before we begin: JOKE

Step 1 : Turn yourself in at your local police HQ and ask for a police officer who you know can take a joke or will RP and be patient.

Step 2 : Ask if they want the short or the long story.

Step 3 : If they ask for the short story, you're outta luck and figure it out yourself. 

Step 4 : If they ask for the long story, clear your throat for a while and google "How did WW1 start" and click the wikipedia link.

Step 5 : Explain to them how WW1 started by reading the prelude or opening paragraph.

Step 6 : If they start to stop you, tell them that this relates to your charges but we're just getting a foundation so it's not out of context.

Step 7 : Once you have finished reading WW1, click on the WW2 link. Begin reading. If they stop you again, go back to Step 6.

Step 8 : Read all of WW2, and then start the Cold War. (Note, this only works if you are from or RPing as a American, otherwise skip).

Step 9 : Tell them that the reason it affects you is because you've had to live through 2 World Wars and are an alien (which credits the living through both wars theory) and say that you still have flashbacks and forget where you are for a moment, sometimes hours. This should get you the pardon because you were unaware of what happened during your outburst.

Step 10 (Optional) : Cry.

Note : If you haven't gotten a pardon by Step 10, you're not gonna get it so best of luck from there on. 

 

Edited by Canadian
Expanded on Step 9
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On 10/27/2017 at 6:48 AM, Sp0on said:

i had a motherfucker read  the emancipation proclamation to me before. he got the pardon because he did it with such character that i couldn't stop laughing at his voice. Like it sounded as if Lincoln himself was reading it.

I once had a guy give me a 20-minute rp story before hearing in ts "He harassed me earlier even after I told him to stop. Give him harassment and send him to jail now Uber". Guess you could say he wasted 65 minutes of his life

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Just now, UberGaming said:

I once had a guy give me a 20-minute rp story before hearing in ts "He harassed me earlier even after I told him to stop. Give him harassment and send him to jail now Uber". Guess you could say he wasted 65 minutes of his life

that's horseshit. i would have made the person that told me that give them the charge, and they can send the person to jail.

 

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8 hours ago, UberGaming said:

I once had a guy give me a 20-minute rp story before hearing in ts "He harassed me earlier even after I told him to stop. Give him harassment and send him to jail now Uber". Guess you could say he wasted 65 minutes of his life

This is why I gave up on the apd. Can't even get reduced tickets anymore. 

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The main point, a lot of cops are money hungry fucks and then a percentage of that is a career cop and doesn't know how expensivee  civ life is. Taking  BH license and mx is already a 13k ticket IMO and I am not even talking about mags scopes and blindfolds. Taking an mk1 load out can quickly be a 17_20 k loss just by seizing stuff. Cops can cry they have an expensive load out cause they get shot a lot. IMO they can fuck off, spawn with a spar 16, get an mxm load out for roughly 3.5k

Paul Blart and Lucky like this
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Just now, wollie35 said:

The main point, a lot of cops are money hungry fucks and then a percentage of that is a career cop and doesn't know how expensivee  civ life is. Taking  BH license and mx is already a 13k ticket IMO and I am not even talking about mags scopes and blindfolds. Taking an mk1 load out can quickly be a 17_20 k loss just by seizing stuff. Cops can cry they have an expensive load out cause they get shot a lot. IMO they can fuck off, spawn with a spar 16, get an mxm load out for roughly 3.5k

Tfw i used to be one of those career cop fucks :FeelsBadMan:

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