Batcan

A Noob’s guide to Altis

12 posts in this topic

1. Before you even join the server make sure you  are recording. If aren’t recording good luck.

2. Read the rules. Know your rights! Don’t let the APD bend you over and *#%** $%^*%.

3. Play server 1. Why would you play any other server?

4. When someone says there is a YouTuber or an event on a different server do not log off. This is an attempt to get your spot when the server is full.

5. If you see someone on a quad bike, do not go anywhere near them unless you want to die.

6. How to deal with the cops and your bounty:

Hit and run: Blame a retard in kavala and say he ran into your car.

Manslaughter (1-3): Your downing gun malfunctioned. Always blame the server.

Unlawful Detainment: Either some guy tried to shoot you or your friend broke his leg so you restrained him and took him to the hospital.

Tip: If you have a high bounty don’t go to kavala and if you get caught by the cops prepare an exetremely long bull shit story on the way to the headquarters. Always RP it out.

7. Everyone in kavala is a bounty hunter unless they have a 7.62.

8. When I first started I played medic until I had enough to get a decent truck to do runs. If you are that desperate for money drive your off-road into kavala and unflip it under red burger or drive into cars to blow shit up. (This is a joke do not do that, it is unnecessary because other medics will already be blowing up square)

9. When you are on the server in the morning and someone says that they won’t kill you at meth pro you have a 50% chance of dying.

10. Join a gang and get some friends.

11. If you want to be rich do the Drug Run. You fly airplanes and it’s pretty easy. If you don’t know how to fly like me last year do not do it. I had -50k for the longest time.

12. Excavating is good money. If you need money do it, but always remember to bring a rebreather. If you are really hardcore get an sdar too.

14. Don’t fight cartels until you are financially stable and have a gang to back you up.

15. The last on this “guide”, don’t ever give up. Maybe you get robbed or some guy RDMs you. Don’t worry you can always make more money.

I skipped 13 because it’s a bad number.

 


 

Emma, wollie35, Gaskal and 4 others like this

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Just now, Batcan said:

4. When someone says there is a YouTuber or an event on a different server do not log off. This is an attempt to get your spot when the server is full.

lirik playing on server 1 right now :kappa:

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Just now, Batcan said:

7. Everyone in kavala is a bounty hunter unless they have a 7.62.

I like bounty hunting with a mk-1 and a PO7 :thinking:

 

It really fools and pisses off the kavala trolls

Edited by Swift F
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Just now, Swift F said:

I like bounty hunting with a mk-1 and a PO7 :thinking:

 

It really fools and pisses off the kavala trolls

I honestly feel like you can trick people with this and make them think they are being taken hostage and they may not combat long on you.

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Just now, Batcan said:

7. Everyone in kavala is a bounty hunter unless they have a 7.62.

or an undercover cop, check the player list by right CTRL+P and if their names blue they're on cop 

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Just now, BioHazard said:

or an undercover cop, check the player list by right CTRL+P and if their names blue they're on cop 

or M>Players.

Leki and BioHazard like this

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Just now, Gaskal said:

lirik playing on server 1 right now :kappa:

Used to be a thing

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Just now, BioHazard said:

or an undercover cop, check the player list by right CTRL+P and if their names blue they're on cop 

you can press CTRL+P to view the players? Shit I've been doing in manually through the map this whole time.

 

8.1 thousand hours of my life wasted

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Just now, Gaskal said:

lirik playing on server 1 right now :kappa:

Yea 3 years ago today 

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Just look for civs with MXM's and carrier lites... It should be obvious :shrug:

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Just now, william said:

you can press CTRL+P to view the players? Shit I've been doing in manually through the map this whole time.

 

8.1 thousand hours of my life wasted

c9827eedcc04b61b67268c509bde4c1f.gif 

Rip, sneaky shortcut I guess.

Edited by BioHazard
william and TopManPage like this

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5 hours ago, Batcan said:

 skipped 13 because it’s a bad number.

:kermit:

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