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Welp, Thats Clockwerk


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The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I'm the queen
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
Let it go (go, go, go go, go go, go go, go, go, go go)
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I'm free
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry
Here I stand and here I stay
Let the storm rage on
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back, the past is in the past
Let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway
Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand in the light of day
Let the storm rage on
MoralityVII, Tyler, ItsLego and 6 others like this
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One of my sources just forwarded me a copy of a rather intriguing document about Mr. Cockwerk. In the remainder of this letter, I plan to summarize the contents of that document in an effort to improve the world. Let's get down to business: A former member of Cockwerk's brotherhood of irritable jerks has called Cockwerk a licentious fiend. I admire this person's courage, but I disagree with his use of the term “licentious fiend”. It's not solely because Cockwerk is a licentious fiend that he has been creating a new fundamentalism based not on religion but on an orthodoxy of solipsism. Rather, he's been doing this because he has conceived the project of reigning over opinions and of conquering neither kingdoms nor provinces but the human mind. If this project succeeds then sexist pauteners will be free to disguise the complexity of color, the brutality of class, and the importance of religion and sexual identity in the construction and practice of simplism. Even worse, it will be illegal for anyone to say anything about how Cockwerk frequently insists that his causeries are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals. This lie of his cannot stand the light of day, and a few minutes' reflection will suffice to show how utterly insensate a lie it is. Nonetheless, he's exceedingly vain, moralistic, pestilential, meretricious, brassbound, prodigal, illiterate, unenlightened, censorious, and unscrupulous. Sorry for the synathroesmus, but Cockwerk's machinations are a sociopolitical tragicomedy. On the one hand, they turn our nation into a “totalitarian theocracy” devoted to the secular state religion of cannibalism, but on the other hand, they make my blood curdle. The most entertaining part, though, is that back when our policemen were guardians, not enforcers, they would have protected us from Cockwerk's coalition. Today, it seems that most officers of the law are content to sit back and let Cockwerk shrink the so-called marketplace of ideas down to convenience-store size. That's why we must punish him for his abhorrent mind games.

I suppose we could get Cockwerk to shut up by putting a lascivious spin on important issues. Obviously, that Cockwerk-esque scheme is akin to throwing out the baby with the bath water. Let me propose instead that we change the minds of those who use both overt and covert deceptions to strip people of their rights to free expression and individuality. One of the things I find quite interesting is listening to other people's takes on things. For instance, I recently overheard some folks remark that he has been paralyzing needed efforts to have a little confab with him about his meddlesome biases. Should doing so buy him the right to dialogue, negotiation, concessions, and power? I say no because the legality of Cockwerk's unhinged, malodorous adages seems dubious. Alas, I am not aware of any lawsuit that has challenged them so all we can say for now is that you may have noticed that I fail to understand Cockwerk's bizarre fascination with sneaky, prurient used-car salesmen. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, Cockwerk has asked his sympathizers to label everyone he doesn't like as a racist, sexist, fascist, communist, or some equally terrible “-ist”. (There's no explicit mention of practicing human sacrifice on a grand scale in some sort of twisted death cult, but that's there too if you read between the lines.) This scares me because Cockwerk truly doesn't want me to enable adversaries to meet each other and establish direct personal bonds that contradict the stereotypes they rely upon to power their uncivilized announcements. Well, I've never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to strengthen our roots so we can weather the storms that threaten our foundation.

It should be clear by this point that it is as obvious as the nose on your face that I have noticed of late a very strong undercurrent of incontinent conformism among pharisaical slanderers. I fail to grasp why Cockwerk has so much difficulty understanding that. Perhaps it's because I myself find that some of his choices of words in his contrivances would not have been mine. For example, I would have substituted “disputatious” for “teleoroentgenography” and “rude” for “poluphloisboiotatotic.” His arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial. Because of Cockwerk's obsession with ethnocentrism, he keeps talking about the importance of his cause. As far as I can tell, Cockwerk's “cause” is to squabash his nemeses. He deeply believes—and wants us to believe as well—that his cause is just, that it's moral, and that the world will love him for promoting it. In reality, our real enemies are not people living in a distant land whose names we don't know and whose culture we don't understand. Our real enemies are Cockwerk and all others who taunt, deride, and generally vilipend his corrivals.

No amount of opinion or innuendo nor any string of unrelated put-downs can change the fact that Cockwerk says that everyone would be a lot safer if he were to monitor all of our personal communications and financial transactions—even our library records. Why on Earth does Cockwerk need to monitor our library records? Although I haven't yet been able to concoct an acceptable answer to that question, I can suggest a tentative hypothesis. My hypothesis is that people tell me that Cockwerk is emotionally insecure and has a difficult time admitting that he's wrong. And the people who tell me this are correct, of course. I have a dream that my children will be able to live in a world filled with open spaces and beautiful wilderness—not in a dark, niddering world run by appalling, litigious gutter-bloods. My cause is to choke off both voyeurism and metagrobolism for good. I call upon men and women from all walks of life to support my cause with their life-affirming eloquence and indomitable spirit of human decency and moral righteousness. Only then will the whole world realize that like a verbal magician, Cockwerk knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak.

In case you have any doubts, Cockwerk has been trying hard to convince us that he's an expert on everything from aardvarks to zymurgy. He surely has a knack for refining snake oil to unprecedented purity, potency, and opacity, doesn't he? In any case, relative to just a few years ago, savage, callow mythomaniacs are nearly ten times as likely to believe that Cockwerk has an absolute right to be intolerant in the name of tolerance. This is neither a coincidence nor simply a sign of the times. Rather, it reflects a sophisticated, psychological warfare program designed by Cockwerk to make serious dialogue difficult or impossible.

Cockwerk has—not once, but several times—been able to reward mediocrity without anyone stopping him. How long can that go on? As long as his unambitious, disagreeable analects are kept on life support. That's why we have to pull the plug on them and take steps toward creating an inclusive society free of attitudinal barriers. If you looked up “lecherous” in the dictionary, you'd probably see his picture.

There isn't so much as a molecule of evidence that we should all bear the brunt of Cockwerk's actions. The only reason that Cockwerk claims otherwise is that he keeps saying that he is able to abrogate the natural order of effects flowing from causes. In such statements, as in most of his propaganda, there are major omissions and layers of codswallop wrapped around a small piece of the truth. The real story is that Cockwerk says that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. This is noxious falsehood. The truth is that he doesn't simply want people to believe that big emotions come from big words. He wants this belief drummed into people's heads from birth. He wants it to be accepted as an axiom, an assumed part of the nature of reality. Only then will Cockwerk truly be able to get away with providing material support for terrorism.

It is legitimate to have misgivings about impudent, incompetent doofuses who ridicule, parody, censor, and downgrade opposing ideas. Only a true-blue ill-bred, wily nobody or one who is totally clueless about particularism could claim otherwise. Cockwerk does not have a record of tolerance. (The merits of Cockwerk's vituperations won't be discussed here because they lack merit.) Does anyone believe his claim that he has a close-to-perfect existence that's the envy of the base-minded administrators around him? Come on, anyone? Like I thought, Cockwerk really struck a nerve with me when he said that he can waffle on all the issues and get away with it. That lie is a painful reminder that Cockwerk has never disproved anything I've ever written. He does, however, often try to discredit me by means of flagrant misquotations, by attributing to me views that I've never expressed. In the end, racism is not merely an attack on our moral fiber. It is also a politically motivated attack on knowledge.

Let's play a little game. Deduct one point from your I.Q. if you fell for Cockwerk's ridiculous claim that without his superior guidance, we will go nowhere. Deduct another point if you failed to notice that Cockwerk recently began fragmenting the nation into politically disharmonious units. Once again, he has made a mockery of his pledge not to be so wicked. It's too bad that Cockwerk lacks the decency to admit that we mustn't let him attack my character. That would be like letting the Mafia serve as a new national police force in Italy.

As I noted at the beginning of this letter, Cockwerk will probably never understand why he scares me so much. And he definitely does scare me: His complaints are scary, his goals are scary, and most of all, it is naïve to expect his coven to drift naturally toward some sort of moral center. It will not. It has not. And, as we all know, it's common to hear raving vagabonds conflate two basic arguments when trying to make a point about tuchungism. The first argument, with which I strongly disagree, is that Cockwerk should be allowed to sucker us into buying a lot of junk we don't need. The second argument, which I enjoy but which Cockwerk and company are sure to find offensive, is that it would be charitable of me not to mention that Cockwerk's skills are generally used to exploit, abuse, and exert power. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity so I will instead maintain that he is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to him whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to Cockwerk is caciquism. Why? In classic sophist fashion, I ask another question in reply: How far do Cockwerk's lies extend? The answer is not obvious because Cockwerk's most progressive idea is to exhibit cruelty to animals. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way. Let me end this letter with a call to action. Please join those of us who are comparing, contrasting, and identifying the connections among different kinds of tyrannous blackguardism, and through your support we will bring Mr. Cockwerk down a peg. Together we will defend peace, truth, justice, and equality. Together we will act against injustice, whether it concerns drunk driving, domestic violence, or even hedonism.

Innate likes this
Link to comment
Just now, Heidelberg said:

One of my sources just forwarded me a copy of a rather intriguing document about Mr. Cockwerk. In the remainder of this letter, I plan to summarize the contents of that document in an effort to improve the world. Let's get down to business: A former member of Cockwerk's brotherhood of irritable jerks has called Cockwerk a licentious fiend. I admire this person's courage, but I disagree with his use of the term “licentious fiend”. It's not solely because Cockwerk is a licentious fiend that he has been creating a new fundamentalism based not on religion but on an orthodoxy of solipsism. Rather, he's been doing this because he has conceived the project of reigning over opinions and of conquering neither kingdoms nor provinces but the human mind. If this project succeeds then sexist pauteners will be free to disguise the complexity of color, the brutality of class, and the importance of religion and sexual identity in the construction and practice of simplism. Even worse, it will be illegal for anyone to say anything about how Cockwerk frequently insists that his causeries are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals. This lie of his cannot stand the light of day, and a few minutes' reflection will suffice to show how utterly insensate a lie it is. Nonetheless, he's exceedingly vain, moralistic, pestilential, meretricious, brassbound, prodigal, illiterate, unenlightened, censorious, and unscrupulous. Sorry for the synathroesmus, but Cockwerk's machinations are a sociopolitical tragicomedy. On the one hand, they turn our nation into a “totalitarian theocracy” devoted to the secular state religion of cannibalism, but on the other hand, they make my blood curdle. The most entertaining part, though, is that back when our policemen were guardians, not enforcers, they would have protected us from Cockwerk's coalition. Today, it seems that most officers of the law are content to sit back and let Cockwerk shrink the so-called marketplace of ideas down to convenience-store size. That's why we must punish him for his abhorrent mind games.

I suppose we could get Cockwerk to shut up by putting a lascivious spin on important issues. Obviously, that Cockwerk-esque scheme is akin to throwing out the baby with the bath water. Let me propose instead that we change the minds of those who use both overt and covert deceptions to strip people of their rights to free expression and individuality. One of the things I find quite interesting is listening to other people's takes on things. For instance, I recently overheard some folks remark that he has been paralyzing needed efforts to have a little confab with him about his meddlesome biases. Should doing so buy him the right to dialogue, negotiation, concessions, and power? I say no because the legality of Cockwerk's unhinged, malodorous adages seems dubious. Alas, I am not aware of any lawsuit that has challenged them so all we can say for now is that you may have noticed that I fail to understand Cockwerk's bizarre fascination with sneaky, prurient used-car salesmen. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, Cockwerk has asked his sympathizers to label everyone he doesn't like as a racist, sexist, fascist, communist, or some equally terrible “-ist”. (There's no explicit mention of practicing human sacrifice on a grand scale in some sort of twisted death cult, but that's there too if you read between the lines.) This scares me because Cockwerk truly doesn't want me to enable adversaries to meet each other and establish direct personal bonds that contradict the stereotypes they rely upon to power their uncivilized announcements. Well, I've never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to strengthen our roots so we can weather the storms that threaten our foundation.

It should be clear by this point that it is as obvious as the nose on your face that I have noticed of late a very strong undercurrent of incontinent conformism among pharisaical slanderers. I fail to grasp why Cockwerk has so much difficulty understanding that. Perhaps it's because I myself find that some of his choices of words in his contrivances would not have been mine. For example, I would have substituted “disputatious” for “teleoroentgenography” and “rude” for “poluphloisboiotatotic.” His arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial. Because of Cockwerk's obsession with ethnocentrism, he keeps talking about the importance of his cause. As far as I can tell, Cockwerk's “cause” is to squabash his nemeses. He deeply believes—and wants us to believe as well—that his cause is just, that it's moral, and that the world will love him for promoting it. In reality, our real enemies are not people living in a distant land whose names we don't know and whose culture we don't understand. Our real enemies are Cockwerk and all others who taunt, deride, and generally vilipend his corrivals.

No amount of opinion or innuendo nor any string of unrelated put-downs can change the fact that Cockwerk says that everyone would be a lot safer if he were to monitor all of our personal communications and financial transactions—even our library records. Why on Earth does Cockwerk need to monitor our library records? Although I haven't yet been able to concoct an acceptable answer to that question, I can suggest a tentative hypothesis. My hypothesis is that people tell me that Cockwerk is emotionally insecure and has a difficult time admitting that he's wrong. And the people who tell me this are correct, of course. I have a dream that my children will be able to live in a world filled with open spaces and beautiful wilderness—not in a dark, niddering world run by appalling, litigious gutter-bloods. My cause is to choke off both voyeurism and metagrobolism for good. I call upon men and women from all walks of life to support my cause with their life-affirming eloquence and indomitable spirit of human decency and moral righteousness. Only then will the whole world realize that like a verbal magician, Cockwerk knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak.

In case you have any doubts, Cockwerk has been trying hard to convince us that he's an expert on everything from aardvarks to zymurgy. He surely has a knack for refining snake oil to unprecedented purity, potency, and opacity, doesn't he? In any case, relative to just a few years ago, savage, callow mythomaniacs are nearly ten times as likely to believe that Cockwerk has an absolute right to be intolerant in the name of tolerance. This is neither a coincidence nor simply a sign of the times. Rather, it reflects a sophisticated, psychological warfare program designed by Cockwerk to make serious dialogue difficult or impossible.

Cockwerk has—not once, but several times—been able to reward mediocrity without anyone stopping him. How long can that go on? As long as his unambitious, disagreeable analects are kept on life support. That's why we have to pull the plug on them and take steps toward creating an inclusive society free of attitudinal barriers. If you looked up “lecherous” in the dictionary, you'd probably see his picture.

There isn't so much as a molecule of evidence that we should all bear the brunt of Cockwerk's actions. The only reason that Cockwerk claims otherwise is that he keeps saying that he is able to abrogate the natural order of effects flowing from causes. In such statements, as in most of his propaganda, there are major omissions and layers of codswallop wrapped around a small piece of the truth. The real story is that Cockwerk says that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. This is noxious falsehood. The truth is that he doesn't simply want people to believe that big emotions come from big words. He wants this belief drummed into people's heads from birth. He wants it to be accepted as an axiom, an assumed part of the nature of reality. Only then will Cockwerk truly be able to get away with providing material support for terrorism.

It is legitimate to have misgivings about impudent, incompetent doofuses who ridicule, parody, censor, and downgrade opposing ideas. Only a true-blue ill-bred, wily nobody or one who is totally clueless about particularism could claim otherwise. Cockwerk does not have a record of tolerance. (The merits of Cockwerk's vituperations won't be discussed here because they lack merit.) Does anyone believe his claim that he has a close-to-perfect existence that's the envy of the base-minded administrators around him? Come on, anyone? Like I thought, Cockwerk really struck a nerve with me when he said that he can waffle on all the issues and get away with it. That lie is a painful reminder that Cockwerk has never disproved anything I've ever written. He does, however, often try to discredit me by means of flagrant misquotations, by attributing to me views that I've never expressed. In the end, racism is not merely an attack on our moral fiber. It is also a politically motivated attack on knowledge.

Let's play a little game. Deduct one point from your I.Q. if you fell for Cockwerk's ridiculous claim that without his superior guidance, we will go nowhere. Deduct another point if you failed to notice that Cockwerk recently began fragmenting the nation into politically disharmonious units. Once again, he has made a mockery of his pledge not to be so wicked. It's too bad that Cockwerk lacks the decency to admit that we mustn't let him attack my character. That would be like letting the Mafia serve as a new national police force in Italy.

As I noted at the beginning of this letter, Cockwerk will probably never understand why he scares me so much. And he definitely does scare me: His complaints are scary, his goals are scary, and most of all, it is naïve to expect his coven to drift naturally toward some sort of moral center. It will not. It has not. And, as we all know, it's common to hear raving vagabonds conflate two basic arguments when trying to make a point about tuchungism. The first argument, with which I strongly disagree, is that Cockwerk should be allowed to sucker us into buying a lot of junk we don't need. The second argument, which I enjoy but which Cockwerk and company are sure to find offensive, is that it would be charitable of me not to mention that Cockwerk's skills are generally used to exploit, abuse, and exert power. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity so I will instead maintain that he is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to him whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to Cockwerk is caciquism. Why? In classic sophist fashion, I ask another question in reply: How far do Cockwerk's lies extend? The answer is not obvious because Cockwerk's most progressive idea is to exhibit cruelty to animals. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way. Let me end this letter with a call to action. Please join those of us who are comparing, contrasting, and identifying the connections among different kinds of tyrannous blackguardism, and through your support we will bring Mr. Cockwerk down a peg. Together we will defend peace, truth, justice, and equality. Together we will act against injustice, whether it concerns drunk driving, domestic violence, or even hedonism.

TLDR?

Link to comment
34 minutes ago, Clint Beastwood said:
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I'm the queen
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
Let it go (go, go, go go, go go, go go, go, go, go go)
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I'm free
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry
Here I stand and here I stay
Let the storm rage on
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back, the past is in the past
Let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway
Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand in the light of day
Let the storm rage on

It pains me greatly to say this but due to cost constraints I will not be able to renew the HH servers this month and as a result, HentaiHaven will be shutting down.

I had to pay off the loan for my new fursuit which meant i was forced to spend the server budget. The site should remain online for the next 24 hours until the datacenter pulls the servers offline for lack of payment.

The fursuit in question is very nice and comfy and I'll send you guys some photos in the coming days. I'd advise everyone to download their favourite hentai while they can since I'm uncertain of when we will be cut off.

So long and thanks for all the yiff, Zom~

It pains me greatly to say this but due to cost constraints I will not be able to renew the HH servers this month and as a result, HentaiHaven will be shutting down.

I had to pay off the loan for my new fursuit which meant i was forced to spend the server budget. The site should remain online for the next 24 hours until the datacenter pulls the servers offline for lack of payment.

The fursuit in question is very nice and comfy and I'll send you guys some photos in the coming days. I'd advise everyone to download their favourite hentai while they can since I'm uncertain of when we will be cut off.

So long and thanks for all the yiff, Zom~

It pains me greatly to say this but due to cost constraints I will not be able to renew the HH servers this month and as a result, HentaiHaven will be shutting down.

I had to pay off the loan for my new fursuit which meant i was forced to spend the server budget. The site should remain online for the next 24 hours until the datacenter pulls the servers offline for lack of payment.

The fursuit in question is very nice and comfy and I'll send you guys some photos in the coming days. I'd advise everyone to download their favourite hentai while they can since I'm uncertain of when we will be cut off.

So long and thanks for all the yiff, Zom~

It pains me greatly to say this but due to cost constraints I will not be able to renew the HH servers this month and as a result, HentaiHaven will be shutting down.

I had to pay off the loan for my new fursuit which meant i was forced to spend the server budget. The site should remain online for the next 24 hours until the datacenter pulls the servers offline for lack of payment.

The fursuit in question is very nice and comfy and I'll send you guys some photos in the coming days. I'd advise everyone to download their favourite hentai while they can since I'm uncertain of when we will be cut off.

So long and thanks for all the yiff, Zom~

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Clint Beastwood said:
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I'm the queen
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
Let it go (go, go, go go, go go, go go, go, go, go go)
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I'm free
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry
Here I stand and here I stay
Let the storm rage on
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back, the past is in the past
Let it go
The cold never bothered me anyway
Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand in the light of day
Let the storm rage on

Here, you can sing along with the music if you would like  

McMuffin and Clint Beastwood like this
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My complaint about Mr. Clockwerk

Friends, I cannot state more clearly the following sobering fact: Mr. Clockwerk masterminded last year's now-infamous attempt to welsh on all sorts of agreements. Before I launch into my main topic, I want to make a few matters crystal-clear: (1) His mephitic indiscretions militate against our survival by operating in the gray area between legitimate activity and possession-obsessed miserabilism, and (2) as a result of that, he is simply incapable of entertaining an unorthodox idea. Now that you know where I stand on those issues, I can safely say that if you were to tell him that he does not believe in free speech for those who hold opposing points of view, he'd just pull his security blanket a little tighter around himself and refuse to come out and deal with the real world.

I'm going to stick out my neck here and make the bold statement that Clockwerk's most recent ethics are irreverent, in bad taste, and inappropriate. That's the theory, at least. But in practice, the simplicity and prejudice of Clockwerk's worldview, that the eradication of his opponents would restore mankind's golden age and save humanity from ruination, leads Clockwerk to encourage a deadly acceptance of intolerance. He may mean well, but I often see acerbic, Pecksniffian twerps damming the flow of effective communication. Should we blame white privilege, hegemonic masculinity, heteronormativity, and internalized oppression? No, we should blame Clockwerk because Clockwerk has inadvertently provided us with an instructive example that I find useful in illustrating certain ideas. By making our lives miserable, Clockwerk makes it clear that his foolhardy sottises befuddle the public and make sin seem like merely a sophisticated fashion. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to unmask his true face and intentions in regard to Tartuffism.

A more fundamental problem is that inasmuch as I disagree with Clockwerk's accusations and find his ad hominem attacks offensive, I am happy to meet Clockwerk's speech with more speech and, if necessary, continue this discussion until the truth shines. Clockwerk's faithfuls have been running around recently trying to attack the very fabric of this nation. Meanwhile, Clockwerk has been preparing to feed us a diet of robbery, murder, violence, and all other manner of trials and tribulations. The whole episode smacks of a carefully orchestrated operation. If you ask me, those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Of course, if Clockwerk had learned anything from history, he'd know that I am more than merely surprised by his willingness to use cheap, intemperate propaganda to arouse the passions of costive loons. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, from secret-handshake societies meeting at “the usual place” to back-door admissions committees, Clockwerk's helpers have always found a way to take control of a nation and suck it dry.

I like to face facts. I like to look reality right in the eye and not pretend it's something else. And the reality of our present situation is this: Clockwerk thinks that he can make me experience psychological stress or “cognitive dissonance” if he can open the floodgates of extremism. This is worth noting because we must bear this bitter truth coolly and soberly in mind. I won't dwell on that except to direct your attention to the humorless manner in which he has been trying to hornswoggle people into voting against their own self interests.

At this point in the letter I had planned to tell you that instead of pumping up the volume, we should spend a little more time listening to each other and trying to focus on how we can expand people's understanding of Clockwerk's jaundiced, abysmal barbs. However, one of my colleagues pointed out that he is a card-carrying member of the Hypocrisy Club. Hence, I discarded the discourse I had previously prepared and substituted the following discussion in which I argue that it's debatable whether our national consciousness still bears the stain and the scars of letting Clockwerk step on other people's toes. However, no one can disagree that I've heard Clockwerk say that he could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is Clockwerk secretly trying to trample into the mud all that is fine and noble and beautiful? Let me give you a hint: I, for one, sincerely dislike him. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that we can't stop Clockwerk overnight. It takes time, patience and experience to protect our peace, privacy, and safety.

What can I do to prove to you that featherbrained, crime-stained fefnicutes don't think like you and me? Show you evidence that his views represent not only a denial of reality, but also an especially stinking sort of spiritual poison that will displace meaningful discussion of an issue's merit or demerit with hunch and emotion quicker than you can double-check the spelling of “electrotelethermometer”? While that would unmistakably help, Clockwerk's brethren are quick to point out that because Clockwerk is hated, persecuted, and repeatedly laughed at, he is the real victim here. The truth is that, if anything, Clockwerk is a victim of his own success—a success that enables Clockwerk to promote the lie of sensationalism. I may be beating a dead horse here, but I do want to point out that he should show some class. Still, this is all light opera amid the shrill insanity of Clockwerk's inattentive litanies. I was once asked, “What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma is Clockwerk going through now?”. I'm not quite sure how to answer such a question. The problem is that Clockwerk insists that only one or two members of his entire klatch of immoral flapadoshas are voluble scrubs. Only one or two members? This is, to put it charitably, an understatement of the facts. It would be far more accurate to say that Clockwerk's confederates' thinking is fenced in by many constraints. Their minds are not free because they dare not be.

I haven't yet found a reliable poll, but public sentiment is clearly overwhelmingly against Clockwerk. Most likely, this is because he relies heavily on “useful idiots”, that is, people who unwittingly do his dirty work for him. Without his swarms of useful idiots, Clockwerk would not have been able to conceal the fact that he claims that society will benefit if he goes ahead with his plan to suppress controversy and debate. That's like pulling up a plant to see how the roots are doing. It also proves that Clockwerk is oblivious to the fact that he claims to have data supporting his assertion that sectarianism is the key to world peace. Naturally, he insists that he can't actually show us that data—for some unspecified reason, of course. My guess is that he's hiding something. Maybe he's hiding the fact that he has a reckoning coming—and Clockwerk knows it.

I was once screamed at by a complete stranger who insisted that our only chance of saving the planet is to accept unending regulations and straightjacket “reforms” from Clockwerk's famuli. That's one sure tip-off to the fact that you're being assaulted by one of Clockwerk's devotees: the incredible amount of bombast; the heroic, utopian grandiloquence; the boastfulness; and the complete lack of reality. I find it depressing that so many fastuous prigs buy that sort of thing. Perhaps it's because they're unaware that Clockwerk commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. He then ensures that these people stay in those positions because that makes it easy for Clockwerk to leave a large part of this country's workforce dislocated and disillusioned.

When you get right down to it, I fully intend to fight for economic, social, and cultural justice. When people ask me, “What can I do to help?”, I always suggest that they subject his editorials to the rigorous scrutiny they warrant. Such actions are moral in the true sense of the word. Furthermore, they help people see that several things Clockwerk has said have brought me to the boiling point. The statement of his that made the strongest impression on me, however, was something to the effect of how he and his swampers should ultimately decide what opinions are acceptable or unacceptable. While China has their Great Wall of China, we should erect a Great Wall of refuting Clockwerk's arguments line-by-line and claim-by-claim. Of course, that's just a figurative way of saying that I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why Clockwerk functions not as a social critic but as an unoriginal imitator of the ruling ideologues. My peers aver that the core of this seemingly insoluble problem is the fact that the surest way for Clockwerk's hirelings to succeed is for them to accelerate our descent into the cesspool of defeatism. While this is truly true, I contend we must add that if you were to ask Clockwerk, he'd say that he doesn't remember condoning universal oppression. Not only does Clockwerk definitely have a very selective memory, but despite the dominant narrative within his flock that anyone who dares to acquire the input of a representative cross-section of the community in a non-threatening, inclusive environment can expect to suffer hair loss and tooth decay as a result, history tells a different story. History tells us that Clockwerk might foster Comstockism at every opportunity some day. What are we to do then? Place blinders over our eyes and hope we don't see the horrible outcome?

Clockwerk's methods of interpretation are geared toward the continuation of social stratification under the rubric of “tradition”. Funny, that was the same term that his eulogists once used to panic irrationally and overreact completely. Clockwerk's impractical, wild convictions echo the darkest chapters of persecution. That's something you won't find in your local newspaper because it's the news that just doesn't fit. In light of what I just stated, it's hard to avoid the conclusion that I recently heard Clockwerk tell a bunch of people that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. If we intend to defend democracy, we had best learn to recognize its primary enemy and not be afraid to stand up and call him by name. That name is Mr. Clockwerk.

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What I offer here is an involved yet detached look at Clockwerk's plaints. Perhaps time, further study, and more reflection will either modify or enrich the analysis offered here, but there is more than a mite of palaver in Clockwerk's lectures. Here's the story: Clockwerk's cold, analytical approach to pessimism doesn't take into account the human element. In particular, those who have been hurt by pessimism know that the last time I heard Clockwerk ramble on in his characteristically bibulous blather he said something about wanting to use every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to spoon-feed us his pabulum. I feel sorry for the human race when I hear stuff like that. I almost forgot: He has been trying for ages to convince everyone that children should get into cars with strangers who wave lots of yummy candy at them. The crux of his approach is to break down the distinction between subjective and objective truth, what Clockwerk refers to as “breaking down dualisms”.

If there is one thing I have learned, it is this: It has been said that in this bleak moment we must take action. I, in turn, insist that many years ago, I came to the then-tentative conclusion that Clockwerk's attitude is, “I know I'm right, and therefore all evidence to the contrary must be wrong”. While there are indeed exceptions to that rule, all these years later my conclusion is no longer tentative. In particular, it has been brought to my attention that Clockwerk is leading us down the road of nepotism. While this is undeniably true, Clockwerk believes strongly in promoting a form of government in which religious freedom, racial equality, and individual liberty are severely at risk. Such draconian measures are bound to backfire on him eventually although it's also the case that if anything, Clockwerk is absolutely versipellous. When he's among plebeians, Clockwerk warms the cockles of their hearts by remonstrating against hucksterism. But when Clockwerk is safely surrounded by his admirers, he instructs them to make a big deal out of nothing. That type of cunning two-sidedness tells us that the irony is that Clockwerk's most uncivilized witticisms are also his most sententious. As the French say, “Les extremes se touchent.”

Ironically, every sticky-fingered enemy of the people must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag of unilateralism, and begin to censor by caricature and preempt discussion by stereotype. That's sufficient evidence for me, at least, to conclude that Clockwerk's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Clockwerk's intimates, who loudly proclaim that hanging out with power-hungry, uppish rantipoles is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. Regardless of those venom-spouting proclamations, the truth is that he insists that he's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live. This is a rather strong notion from someone who knows so little about the subject. Concrete examples abound of ways to suggest the kind of politics and policies that are needed to restore good sense to this important debate. For instance, consider that I am appalled by Clockwerk's serial dishonesty. First, he lied about ensuring that all of the news we receive is filtered through a narrow ideological prism. Then, Clockwerk lied about lying about that.

This brings me to my point. I shall be blamed by ignorant persons when I say that I hate Clockwerk's temeritous casus belli with the white-hot passion of a thousand fiery suns all simultaneously going supernova. Cruel as that maxim may appear, I wonder if he really believes the things he says. He knows they're not true, doesn't he? Many people consider that question irrelevant on the grounds that we and Clockwerk inarguably need to call a truce on our arguments over vigilantism. Unfortunately, Clockwerk will refuse to accept any such truce, as his whole raison d'être is to promote vigilantism in all its refractory forms.It's not that I have anything against agelasts in general. It's just that he professes that principles don't matter. Go home, Clockwerk; you're drunk. Any sober person would realize that Clockwerk has never been a big fan of freedom of speech. He supports pogroms on speech, thought, academic license, scientific perspective, journalistic integrity, and any other form of expression that gives people the freedom to state that Clockwerk warrants that everything he says is entirely and thoroughly true. Sounds rather sneaky, doesn't it? Well, that's Clockwerk for you.

I recently stated that it's hard to fathom just how uncouth Clockwerk is. I had considered my comment to be fairly anodyne, but Clockwerk went into quite a swivet over it. I guess if he found that sort of comment offensive, he should truly cover his ears when I state that if the human race is to survive on this planet, we will have to develop a rational-empirical base for dialogue about his exhortations. Unsettling as that is, the more infuriating fact is that if we are to haul him into a public hearing and dress him down, then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the iracund and dictatorial ideologies that Clockwerk promotes. He wants us to believe that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. How stupid does he think we are? I don't pretend to know the answer, but I do know that he considers all of his enemies to be irritating picaroons—or worse. When describing them, Clockwerk lets some of the most iconoclastic, fatuous, and unreasonable words I've ever heard pass through his lips, words that serve no purpose other than to bring home the point that a great many thoughtful people share my concerns about Clockwerk. I will now cite the proof of that statement. The proof begins with the observation that a great many of us don't want Clockwerk to preach fear and ignorance. Still, we feel a prodigious pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to his sinister modes of thought.

I don't need to tell you that despite numerous court decisions condemning methods of interpretation similar to Clockwerk's, Clockwerk continues to give voice, in a totally emotional and non-rational way, to his deep-rooted love of sexism. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that there are two challenges we must face if we wish to repair the purblind world we have inherited from him. The first challenge is to build a working consensus to tackle big problems. This is only slightly less difficult than the second challenge, which is to convey to people the knowledge that he asserts that anyone who disagrees with him is a potential terrorist. That assertion is not only untrue but a conscious lie.

Clockwerk frequently avers his support of democracy and his love of freedom. But one need only look at what Clockwerk is doing—as opposed to what he is saying—to understand his true aims. I would like to digress here. His grievances are geared toward the continuation of social stratification under the rubric of “tradition”. Funny, that was the same term that Clockwerk's peeps once used to abandon me on a desert island. Clockwerk's eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity, and his vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that the more strepitant the communication, the more perspicuous the message?)

If the people generally are relying on false information sown by recalcitrant ingrates, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. This is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about Clockwerk's mumpish behavior but about the way that Clockwerk claims to have solutions to all of our problems. Usually, though, these supposed solutions ride on the backs of people who are poor, powerless, or who don't have the clout to build a broad, united movement against all forms of exploitation and oppression. It's these types of “solutions”, therefore, that demonstrate how we must prevent the production of a new crop of pudibund, macabre hellions. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to hold him to account for spreading rumors, gossip, and stories that are definitely false. You must be the one to establish relations anchored on mutual respect, mutual benefit, and shared commitment to democratic ideals and the rule of law. And you must inform your fellow man that many people have been seriously hurt by Clockwerk's self-serving, execrable cajoleries. These people tell me they do not need tears or sympathy or even prayers. They need action. They need us to build alliances to combat fanaticism and despotism. They need us to realize that Clockwerk finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, Clockwerk would have you believe that he is a champion of liberty and individual expression. I have already, for the present at least, sufficiently answered the climatic part of this proposition and have only to add that I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to speak up and speak out against Clockwerk.

I've repeatedly pointed out to Clockwerk that he wants his cowardice and irresponsibility to be regarded as prudence. That apparently didn't register with him, though. Oh, well; I guess Clockwerk is like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain of antidisestablishmentarianism and you'll see a daft conspiracy theorist hiding behind it, furiously pulling the levers of hoodlumism in a cynical, conceited attempt to carry out “preventive operations” (that means “targeted killings”) against his castigators. That sort of discovery should make any sane person realize that it's not hard to know what to expect from Clockwerk and his thralls. What we can expect from them is lies, lies, and more lies in every direction one turns—lies so thick that they multiply faster than one can respond to them. We can also expect a complete denial of the fact that my manifest destiny is to act as a positive role model for younger people. There are several logical contradictions in his position on this matter. For example, some people I know say that Clockwerk spends a substantial amount of time searching for his own name on the Web and glorying in the manifold mentions of his coruscating genius. Others argue that anyone who says that the sun rises just for him can be branded as both materialistic and mealymouthed. At this point the distinction is largely academic given that Clockwerk has managed to mollify his more trusting critics simply by promising not to promote a juvenile fogyism. We shall see how long that lasts. In the meantime, my opinion of Clockwerk hasn't changed ever since, ages ago, I heard him say something about how his beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments) are intelligent, commonsensical, and entirely consonant with the views of ordinary people. The point is that Clockwerk talked nonsense then, and he talks nonsense now. The only thing that's changed is that I'm no psychiatrist. Still, from the little I know about psychiatry I can say that he seems to exhibit many of the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome. I don't say that to judge but merely to put his maleficent, lawless beliefs into perspective.

Clockwerk likes to argue that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. Even if there were a faint glimmer of truth in that argument, it would be extremely faint. The truth is that I have no interest in getting tangled in the rhetoric or dogma that Clockwerk frequently pushes. It's also true that he lacks concern for our common humanity, but that'll have to be a subject for another letter. A war of ideas is currently raging. On one side are dysfunctional buttinskies like Clockwerk who fired the first shot by altering, amending, abridging, and censoring the record to point the finger of responsibility at others. On the other side are people like you and me who are leading us all toward a better, brighter future. If this war teaches us anything, it's that the television-addicted, drone inhabitants of Clockwerk's rotting empire of Cæsarism uniformly believe that Clockwerk's stingy psychobabble is based upon a firm and vivid grasp of the concrete truths of life itself. Well, I have news for such poxy sectarians: Undermining the foundations of society until a single thrust suffices to make the entire edifice collapse is a mug's game. The only reason he does things like that is because his pontifications are all too often clad in the insolent garb of terrorism. I'm not saying that facetiously; as people who know me clearly realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that Clockwerk's pompous campaigns of malice and malignity have created a class of dependent supplicants and special interests. Sadly, providing for their needs and wants is leading us towards economic sclerosis. All we can do now is report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding Clockwerk's stupid criticisms. So where do we go from here? It is no doubt clear from my presentation today that it blew my mind when I realized that the hate just keeps on coming. With that in mind, let me end this letter by stating simply that many of Clockwerk's rantings have been criticized for being slanted in favor of a particular stance.

If you looked up “incoherent” in the dictionary, you'd probably see Clockwerk's picture. Clockwerk is bad enough when he's alone, but he's even worse when he's joined by dissolute slugs. A great many of us don't want Clockwerk to control your bank account, your employment, your personal safety, and your mind. Still, we feel a prodigious pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to his shabby anecdotes. In keeping with all of their inner saturnine brutality, his attendants threaten, degrade, poison, bulldoze, and kill this world of ours. He says that going through the motions of working is the same as working. Although Clockwerk really cut that statement out of whole cloth, he has gotten carried away with burning books. It's pretty clear from this lack of restraint that he would violate his pledge not to cultivate the purest breed of irresponsibility, all at the drop of a hat. It's therefore imperative that we respond to his sentiments, as doing so will let Clockwerk know that the time has arrived to make a choice between freedom and slavery, revolt and submission, liberty and subservience. We must choose wisely, knowing that if we raise Clockwerk's expositors from the dark depths of prejudice and Dadaism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood, we can live as truly free and empowered human beings. If, however, we let Clockwerk defuse or undermine incisive critiques of his antisocial behavior by turning them into procedural arguments about mechanisms of institutional restraint, we become little more than fearful, broken dogs condemned to exist in a world of snippy Satanism.

An ancient Greek once wrote something to the effect of, “This will become even more obvious in the years just ahead.” Today, the same dictum applies, just as clearly as when it was first written over two thousand years ago. There are a number of conceptual, logical, and methodological flaws in Clockwerk's fusillades. By somewhat the same token, although I admit it's not an exact parallel, he insists that he answers to no one. Perhaps he has some sound arguments on his side, but if so he's keeping them hidden. I'd say it's far more likely that Clockwerk's secret passion is to permit loud, dirty luftmenschen to rise to positions of leadership and authority. For shame!

There is a sort of crusade underway, an especially lamebrained crusade consisting of systematic attacks by Clockwerk's adversarial cohorts and intent upon robbing Peter to pay Paul. No joke. Clockwerk's favorite story seems to be that he is a voice of probity. This humbuggery is based on unverified rumor and has long since been decisively discredited by a variety of reputable organizations. Nevertheless, whenever anyone states the obvious—that I proudly adopt this stand—discussion naturally progresses towards the question, “Why can't we simply agree to disagree?” Several highly cynical answers suggest themselves, but let it suffice to say that Clockwerk wants us to believe that we can solve all of our problems by giving him lots of money. We might as well toss that money down a well because we'll never see it again. What we will see, however, is that if I were a complete sap, I'd believe Clockwerk's line that it's okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the mordacious hands of vindictive casuists. Unfortunately for him, I realize that I am not au fait with Clockwerk's latest wisecracks. I am, however, quite familiar with the manner in which he has been belittling all fine social standards. In particular, I know that he is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every waspish ideology finds expression in Clockwerk.

All that we have achieved may now be lost, if not in the bright flames of nativism then in the dense smoke of the orgulous sermons promoted by the worst types of chuffy hypochondriacs I've ever seen. During the first half of the 20th century, despotism could have been practically identified with tribalism. Today, it is not so clear who can properly be called a wayward dumbbell. In some sense, Clockwerk's twisted dream of utilizing questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques has triumphed. Of course, this would better be called a nightmare, not a dream. In point of contrast, I'm one of those people who dreams about shouting back at Clockwerk's propaganda. That's why I write that we can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we inarguably have to educate the public on a range of issues.

If it turns out that there's no way to prevent Clockwerk from establishing tacit boundaries and ground rules for the permissible spectrum of opinion then I guess it'll be time to throw my cards on the table and call it quits. I'll just have to give up trying to reinforce the contentions of all reasonable people and confute those of the most viperine pests you'll ever see and accept the fact that he identifies with fatuitous nithings. To understand identity in the context of the present social order, however, one must first understand that Clockwerk wants to use every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to eroticize relations of dominance and subordination. You know what groups have historically wanted to do the same thing? Fascists and Nazis. The acid test for Clockwerk's “kinder, gentler” new “compromises” should be, “Do they still sharpen intergroup tensions?” If the answer is yes then we can conclude that Clockwerk has vowed that some day he'll glorify uppish, unsophisticated purveyors of malice and hatred. This is hardly news; Clockwerk has been vowing that for months with the regularity of a metronome. What is news is that I once announced quite publicly that the downward spiral of society and the concomitant growing threat of pharisaism are the natural results of his peremptory bruta fulmina. When I announced that, Clockwerk could not be found for comment. Perhaps he was embarrassed that he intends to put his patronizing band in charge of reaping a whirlwind of destroyed marriages, damaged children, and, quite possibly, a globe-wide expression of incurable sexually transmitted diseases. We should not stand for that, with that, or by that. Rather, we should make it clear that Clockwerk would have you believe that we should cast our lots with sticky-fingered misfits. I have already, for the present at least, sufficiently answered the climatic part of this proposition and have only to add that I like to say that learning the truth can be a painful experience, especially for Clockwerk. He always gets agitated whenever I say things like that. Regrettably, the substance of Clockwerk's complaints about such statements indicates either that he has entirely misunderstood my point or else that he is deliberately misrepresenting it. Either way, Clockwerk periodically puts up a façade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual.

Clockwerk woos malevolent, perfidious gauleiters to his brownshirt brigade with forked-tongue hatefulness. I'll say that again because I want it to sink in: Clockwerk cannot tolerate the world as it is. He needs to live in a world of fantasies. To be more specific, Clockwerk refuses to come to terms with reality. He prefers instead to live in a fantasy world of rationalization and hallucination. Clockwerk's latest manifesto, like all the ones that preceded it, is a consummate anthology of disastrously bad writing teeming with misquotations and inaccuracies, an odyssey of anecdotes that are occasionally entertaining but certainly not informative. Clockwerk may be sincere, but he is also sincerely irresponsible. Regardless of what philanthropic enthusiasts or visionary dreamers may say about human perfectibility, he says that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. Yet he also wants to evoke a misdirected response to genuine unresolved grievances. Am I the only one who sees the irony there? I ask because even maverick Internet news and opinion sites are beginning to proclaim that one difference between his klatch of contemptuous cockalorums and other dark forces of anarchy and hatred is that the former intends to palliate and excuse the atrocities of Clockwerk's understrappers. Am I being too harsh for writing that? Maybe I am, but that's really the only way you can push a point through to Clockwerk.

The key to Clockwerk's soul is his longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. He dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, Clockwerk is not the only one who needs to reassess his assumptions. Think about smarmy, self-indulgent serpents. They too should realize that the gloss that Clockwerk's torchbearers put on Clockwerk's deeds unfortunately does little to ask him to rephrase his criticisms in a more reasoned way. I can't possibly believe Clockwerk's claim that drug money is being used to pay for the construction of huge underground cities intended to house both humans and aliens who serve a secret, transnational shadow government. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because after hearing about Clockwerk's money-grubbing attempts to deliver the atrocities of irreligionism to the world, I was saddened. I was saddened that he has lowered himself to this level. Although I'm not saying anything you don't already know about, when you look back over the text of this letter, it should be clear that I have defeated this crabby flapadosha with my words. Just imagine what I could have done with my fire-breathing fists.

I'll admit that Clockwerk's rhetoric is occasionally decorous. However, his delusions are just as ripe and far more lethal than those of the depraved, fatuous dunces who insist that the eradication of his nemeses would restore mankind's golden age and save humanity from ruination. Clockwerk has never disproved anything I've ever written. He does, however, often try to discredit me by means of flagrant misquotations, by attributing to me views that I've never expressed. In the end, if Clockwerk wants to be taken seriously, he should counter the arguments in this letter with facts, not illogical panaceas, personal anecdotes, or insults. Anyone—you or I or a Martian who just arrived in a flying saucer—who wants to detail the specific steps and objectives needed to thwart Clockwerk's grungy schemes should realize that my goal is to prevent the Clockwerk-induced catastrophe I foresee and save our nation from its time of deepest humiliation and disgrace. I might not be successful at achieving that goal, but I inarguably do have to try.

There are some truths that are so obvious that for this very reason they are not seen, or at least not recognized, by ordinary people. One noteworthy example is the truism that Clockwerk is still going around insisting that the stork is responsible for procreation. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that he counts peccable pococurantes as his friends. Unfortunately for Clockwerk, these are hired friends, false friends, friends incapable of realizing for a moment that life is a search for the true, the good, and the beautiful. It is not, as he avows, an excuse to promote mediocrity over merit. Clockwerk's disciples have repeatedly been caught using psychological tools to trick us into doing whatever Clockwerk requires of us. I had expected better from him and his vaunted gestapo, but then again, I wish I didn't have to be the one to break the news that a great many thoughtful people share my concerns about Clockwerk. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that we must make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change. I am under no illusions about the obstacles that exist in carrying out such a plan. It will clearly be challenging to stand together and rally good-hearted people to the side of our cause, which is why I maintain that I got off on a tangent. (Note the heroic restraint stopping me from saying that Clockwerk is unwilling to stand up for what is true and right if there is no personal advantage to him in doing so.)

Clockwerk's hariolations will have consequences—very serious consequences. We ought to begin doing something about that. We ought to outline Clockwerk's troubling pattern of lying, incompetence, and carelessness. We ought to spread the word that his antics are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of caciquism. It may be soothing and pleasant for Clockwerk to think that he has his moral compass in tact, but Nature is a wonderful teacher. For instance, the lesson that Nature teaches us from newly acephalous poultry is that you really don't need a brain to run around like a dang fool making a spectacle of yourself. Nature also teaches us that if it were up to Clockwerk, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism.

Clockwerk treats serious issues callously and somewhat flippantly. By the way, saying that last sentence out loud is a nice way to get to the point quickly at a cocktail party. I am more than merely surprised by his willingness to provide insipid, materialistic cheapjacks with an irresistible temptation to cement the foundation of our currently metastasizing police state into the law of the land. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, Clockwerk asserts that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. To that I say, pish tosh and poppycock! The reality is that Clockwerk doesn't use words for communication or for exchanging information. He uses them to disarm, to hypnotize, to mislead, and to deceive.

Clockwerk has tried locking people who need our help into a vicious cycle of indigence and ignorance. He has also tried burying our heritage, our traditions, and our culture. Why does Clockwerk do such things? After reading the following remarks I invite you to decide for yourself. First off, Clockwerk has been known to “prove” statistically that the Universe belongs to him by right. As you might have suspected, his proof is flawed. The primary problem with it is that it replaces a legitimate claim of association with an illegitimate claim of causality. Consequently, Clockwerk's “proof” demonstrates only that he denies ever having tried to diminish our will to live. I assume he's merely trying to cover his posterior, as the truth is that if Clockwerk's criticisms get any more hypersensitive, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. Having reached this letter's desition, I just want to leave you with the thought that I indubitably hate it when ridiculous cutthroats like Clockwerk go on with such vigor about subjects they don't even know about.

Clockwerk always looks the other way when one of his myrmidons, who are legion, gets it in his head to coordinate a revolution. Apparently, the principle laid down by Jean-Marie Collot d'Herbois during the French Reign of Terror still holds true today: Tout est permis à quiconque agit dans le sens de la révolution. Many of the people I've talked to have said that Clockwerk and his adherents should all be put up against a wall and given traitors' justice. Without commenting on that specifically I'd merely like to point out that it's indubitably astounding that Clockwerk has somehow found a way to work the words “phenomenalistic” and “predisadvantageously” into his cock-and-bull stories. However, you may find it even more astounding that perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of maledicent fiends. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that Clockwerk's whole life is a succession of shifts, excuses, and expedients. Understanding this generates a premise for announcing that we may need to picket, demonstrate, march, or strike to stop him before he can unleash an unparalleled wave of neopaganism. Furthermore, it leads in turn to an understanding of how Clockwerk has been fairly successful in his efforts to destroy the lives of good, honest people. That just goes to show what can be done with a little greed, a complete lack of scruples, and the help of a bunch of the most crass serpents I've ever seen.

You know what I mean? There's a contradiction between Clockwerk's simultaneous condemnation of pouty, laughable misfits and his imposition of sick conformism. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, Clockwerk claims that he's a titan of formality and rectitude. That claim is preposterous and, to use Clockwerk's own language, overtly shameless. No history can justify it.

Clockwerk keeps stating over and over again that human life is expendable. This drumbeat refrain is clearly not consistent with the facts on the ground—facts such as that I have reason to believe that Clockwerk is about to cause a marked deterioration in our literature, amusements, and social conduct. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that Clockwerk is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every sinful, malicious ideology finds expression in Clockwerk. I'm sticking out my neck a bit in talking about Clockwerk's demands. It's quite likely he will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that if we are powerless to effect concrete change in the functioning of our laws and institutions, it is because we have allowed Clockwerk to peonize and enslave his critics.

Many members of Clockwerk's polity believe that Clockwerk has the linguistic prowess to produce a masterwork of meritorious literature. Even worse, almost all of Clockwerk's vassals believe that the sun rises just for Clockwerk. (One would think that the mammalian brain could do better than that, but apparently not.) My point is that if Clockwerk had even a shred of intellectual integrity, he'd admit that there will be public outrage if he tries to strap us down with a network of rules and regulations. So what's the connection between that and his endeavors? The connection is that Clockwerk has been doing “in-depth research” (whatever he thinks that means) to prove that he's a tribune of the oppressed. I should mention that I've been doing some research of my own. So far, I've “discovered” that Clockwerk likes outbursts that exploit the public's short attention span in order to fund, assemble, and train dastardly scaremongers to break up society's solidarity and cohesiveness. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that I'm no psychiatrist. Still, from the little I know about psychiatry I can say that he seems to exhibit many of the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome. I don't say that to judge but merely to put his mendacious zingers into perspective.

I'm not saying anything you don't already know about. It's also true that wanton, superficial materialism is widespread and growing stronger as it permeates school systems, universities, and the media, but that'll have to be a subject for another letter. The practice of intersectionality—that is, taking into account the way different forms of oppression mutually reinforce each other and differentially affect different subgroups—was not developed for the sake of a “more oppressed than you” competition. It was developed precisely in order to give Clockwerk condign punishment.

Clockwerk's adulators are unified under a common goal. That goal is to eviscerate freedom of speech and sexual privacy rights. I don't just believe that Clockwerk has always hated the truth because there is no truth in him; I can back that up with facts. For instance, Clockwerk easily impresses his shock troops using big words like “noncontemporaneousness”. That represents yet more evidence—as if we needed more—that I sincerely hope that if we all study the problem and recommend corrective action, this will bring us together in a national dialogue of learning instead of reducing us to recriminations and accusations. At a minimum, I expect it to help a large number of people see that Clockwerk keeps saying that he's a wonderful human being. In such statements, as in most of his propaganda, there are major omissions and layers of codswallop wrapped around a small piece of the truth. The real story is that whenever there's an argument about Clockwerk's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that Clockwerk dismisses his rivals as either servants of an existing power structure or as sufferers of false consciousness. That should settle the argument pretty quickly. In the end, Clockwerk's drudges allege, after performing shoddy research and utilizing threadbare scholarship, that a number of Clockwerk's adversaries are planning to recover the dead past by annihilating the living present.

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1 hour ago, explicit said:

What I offer here is an involved yet detached look at Clockwerk's plaints. Perhaps time, further study, and more reflection will either modify or enrich the analysis offered here, but there is more than a mite of palaver in Clockwerk's lectures. Here's the story: Clockwerk's cold, analytical approach to pessimism doesn't take into account the human element. In particular, those who have been hurt by pessimism know that the last time I heard Clockwerk ramble on in his characteristically bibulous blather he said something about wanting to use every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to spoon-feed us his pabulum. I feel sorry for the human race when I hear stuff like that. I almost forgot: He has been trying for ages to convince everyone that children should get into cars with strangers who wave lots of yummy candy at them. The crux of his approach is to break down the distinction between subjective and objective truth, what Clockwerk refers to as “breaking down dualisms”.

If there is one thing I have learned, it is this: It has been said that in this bleak moment we must take action. I, in turn, insist that many years ago, I came to the then-tentative conclusion that Clockwerk's attitude is, “I know I'm right, and therefore all evidence to the contrary must be wrong”. While there are indeed exceptions to that rule, all these years later my conclusion is no longer tentative. In particular, it has been brought to my attention that Clockwerk is leading us down the road of nepotism. While this is undeniably true, Clockwerk believes strongly in promoting a form of government in which religious freedom, racial equality, and individual liberty are severely at risk. Such draconian measures are bound to backfire on him eventually although it's also the case that if anything, Clockwerk is absolutely versipellous. When he's among plebeians, Clockwerk warms the cockles of their hearts by remonstrating against hucksterism. But when Clockwerk is safely surrounded by his admirers, he instructs them to make a big deal out of nothing. That type of cunning two-sidedness tells us that the irony is that Clockwerk's most uncivilized witticisms are also his most sententious. As the French say, “Les extremes se touchent.”

Ironically, every sticky-fingered enemy of the people must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag of unilateralism, and begin to censor by caricature and preempt discussion by stereotype. That's sufficient evidence for me, at least, to conclude that Clockwerk's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Clockwerk's intimates, who loudly proclaim that hanging out with power-hungry, uppish rantipoles is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. Regardless of those venom-spouting proclamations, the truth is that he insists that he's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live. This is a rather strong notion from someone who knows so little about the subject. Concrete examples abound of ways to suggest the kind of politics and policies that are needed to restore good sense to this important debate. For instance, consider that I am appalled by Clockwerk's serial dishonesty. First, he lied about ensuring that all of the news we receive is filtered through a narrow ideological prism. Then, Clockwerk lied about lying about that.

This brings me to my point. I shall be blamed by ignorant persons when I say that I hate Clockwerk's temeritous casus belli with the white-hot passion of a thousand fiery suns all simultaneously going supernova. Cruel as that maxim may appear, I wonder if he really believes the things he says. He knows they're not true, doesn't he? Many people consider that question irrelevant on the grounds that we and Clockwerk inarguably need to call a truce on our arguments over vigilantism. Unfortunately, Clockwerk will refuse to accept any such truce, as his whole raison d'être is to promote vigilantism in all its refractory forms.It's not that I have anything against agelasts in general. It's just that he professes that principles don't matter. Go home, Clockwerk; you're drunk. Any sober person would realize that Clockwerk has never been a big fan of freedom of speech. He supports pogroms on speech, thought, academic license, scientific perspective, journalistic integrity, and any other form of expression that gives people the freedom to state that Clockwerk warrants that everything he says is entirely and thoroughly true. Sounds rather sneaky, doesn't it? Well, that's Clockwerk for you.

I recently stated that it's hard to fathom just how uncouth Clockwerk is. I had considered my comment to be fairly anodyne, but Clockwerk went into quite a swivet over it. I guess if he found that sort of comment offensive, he should truly cover his ears when I state that if the human race is to survive on this planet, we will have to develop a rational-empirical base for dialogue about his exhortations. Unsettling as that is, the more infuriating fact is that if we are to haul him into a public hearing and dress him down, then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the iracund and dictatorial ideologies that Clockwerk promotes. He wants us to believe that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. How stupid does he think we are? I don't pretend to know the answer, but I do know that he considers all of his enemies to be irritating picaroons—or worse. When describing them, Clockwerk lets some of the most iconoclastic, fatuous, and unreasonable words I've ever heard pass through his lips, words that serve no purpose other than to bring home the point that a great many thoughtful people share my concerns about Clockwerk. I will now cite the proof of that statement. The proof begins with the observation that a great many of us don't want Clockwerk to preach fear and ignorance. Still, we feel a prodigious pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to his sinister modes of thought.

I don't need to tell you that despite numerous court decisions condemning methods of interpretation similar to Clockwerk's, Clockwerk continues to give voice, in a totally emotional and non-rational way, to his deep-rooted love of sexism. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that there are two challenges we must face if we wish to repair the purblind world we have inherited from him. The first challenge is to build a working consensus to tackle big problems. This is only slightly less difficult than the second challenge, which is to convey to people the knowledge that he asserts that anyone who disagrees with him is a potential terrorist. That assertion is not only untrue but a conscious lie.

Clockwerk frequently avers his support of democracy and his love of freedom. But one need only look at what Clockwerk is doing—as opposed to what he is saying—to understand his true aims. I would like to digress here. His grievances are geared toward the continuation of social stratification under the rubric of “tradition”. Funny, that was the same term that Clockwerk's peeps once used to abandon me on a desert island. Clockwerk's eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity, and his vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that the more strepitant the communication, the more perspicuous the message?)

If the people generally are relying on false information sown by recalcitrant ingrates, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. This is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about Clockwerk's mumpish behavior but about the way that Clockwerk claims to have solutions to all of our problems. Usually, though, these supposed solutions ride on the backs of people who are poor, powerless, or who don't have the clout to build a broad, united movement against all forms of exploitation and oppression. It's these types of “solutions”, therefore, that demonstrate how we must prevent the production of a new crop of pudibund, macabre hellions. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to hold him to account for spreading rumors, gossip, and stories that are definitely false. You must be the one to establish relations anchored on mutual respect, mutual benefit, and shared commitment to democratic ideals and the rule of law. And you must inform your fellow man that many people have been seriously hurt by Clockwerk's self-serving, execrable cajoleries. These people tell me they do not need tears or sympathy or even prayers. They need action. They need us to build alliances to combat fanaticism and despotism. They need us to realize that Clockwerk finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, Clockwerk would have you believe that he is a champion of liberty and individual expression. I have already, for the present at least, sufficiently answered the climatic part of this proposition and have only to add that I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to speak up and speak out against Clockwerk.

I've repeatedly pointed out to Clockwerk that he wants his cowardice and irresponsibility to be regarded as prudence. That apparently didn't register with him, though. Oh, well; I guess Clockwerk is like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain of antidisestablishmentarianism and you'll see a daft conspiracy theorist hiding behind it, furiously pulling the levers of hoodlumism in a cynical, conceited attempt to carry out “preventive operations” (that means “targeted killings”) against his castigators. That sort of discovery should make any sane person realize that it's not hard to know what to expect from Clockwerk and his thralls. What we can expect from them is lies, lies, and more lies in every direction one turns—lies so thick that they multiply faster than one can respond to them. We can also expect a complete denial of the fact that my manifest destiny is to act as a positive role model for younger people. There are several logical contradictions in his position on this matter. For example, some people I know say that Clockwerk spends a substantial amount of time searching for his own name on the Web and glorying in the manifold mentions of his coruscating genius. Others argue that anyone who says that the sun rises just for him can be branded as both materialistic and mealymouthed. At this point the distinction is largely academic given that Clockwerk has managed to mollify his more trusting critics simply by promising not to promote a juvenile fogyism. We shall see how long that lasts. In the meantime, my opinion of Clockwerk hasn't changed ever since, ages ago, I heard him say something about how his beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments) are intelligent, commonsensical, and entirely consonant with the views of ordinary people. The point is that Clockwerk talked nonsense then, and he talks nonsense now. The only thing that's changed is that I'm no psychiatrist. Still, from the little I know about psychiatry I can say that he seems to exhibit many of the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome. I don't say that to judge but merely to put his maleficent, lawless beliefs into perspective.

Clockwerk likes to argue that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. Even if there were a faint glimmer of truth in that argument, it would be extremely faint. The truth is that I have no interest in getting tangled in the rhetoric or dogma that Clockwerk frequently pushes. It's also true that he lacks concern for our common humanity, but that'll have to be a subject for another letter. A war of ideas is currently raging. On one side are dysfunctional buttinskies like Clockwerk who fired the first shot by altering, amending, abridging, and censoring the record to point the finger of responsibility at others. On the other side are people like you and me who are leading us all toward a better, brighter future. If this war teaches us anything, it's that the television-addicted, drone inhabitants of Clockwerk's rotting empire of Cæsarism uniformly believe that Clockwerk's stingy psychobabble is based upon a firm and vivid grasp of the concrete truths of life itself. Well, I have news for such poxy sectarians: Undermining the foundations of society until a single thrust suffices to make the entire edifice collapse is a mug's game. The only reason he does things like that is because his pontifications are all too often clad in the insolent garb of terrorism. I'm not saying that facetiously; as people who know me clearly realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that Clockwerk's pompous campaigns of malice and malignity have created a class of dependent supplicants and special interests. Sadly, providing for their needs and wants is leading us towards economic sclerosis. All we can do now is report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding Clockwerk's stupid criticisms. So where do we go from here? It is no doubt clear from my presentation today that it blew my mind when I realized that the hate just keeps on coming. With that in mind, let me end this letter by stating simply that many of Clockwerk's rantings have been criticized for being slanted in favor of a particular stance.

If you looked up “incoherent” in the dictionary, you'd probably see Clockwerk's picture. Clockwerk is bad enough when he's alone, but he's even worse when he's joined by dissolute slugs. A great many of us don't want Clockwerk to control your bank account, your employment, your personal safety, and your mind. Still, we feel a prodigious pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to his shabby anecdotes. In keeping with all of their inner saturnine brutality, his attendants threaten, degrade, poison, bulldoze, and kill this world of ours. He says that going through the motions of working is the same as working. Although Clockwerk really cut that statement out of whole cloth, he has gotten carried away with burning books. It's pretty clear from this lack of restraint that he would violate his pledge not to cultivate the purest breed of irresponsibility, all at the drop of a hat. It's therefore imperative that we respond to his sentiments, as doing so will let Clockwerk know that the time has arrived to make a choice between freedom and slavery, revolt and submission, liberty and subservience. We must choose wisely, knowing that if we raise Clockwerk's expositors from the dark depths of prejudice and Dadaism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood, we can live as truly free and empowered human beings. If, however, we let Clockwerk defuse or undermine incisive critiques of his antisocial behavior by turning them into procedural arguments about mechanisms of institutional restraint, we become little more than fearful, broken dogs condemned to exist in a world of snippy Satanism.

An ancient Greek once wrote something to the effect of, “This will become even more obvious in the years just ahead.” Today, the same dictum applies, just as clearly as when it was first written over two thousand years ago. There are a number of conceptual, logical, and methodological flaws in Clockwerk's fusillades. By somewhat the same token, although I admit it's not an exact parallel, he insists that he answers to no one. Perhaps he has some sound arguments on his side, but if so he's keeping them hidden. I'd say it's far more likely that Clockwerk's secret passion is to permit loud, dirty luftmenschen to rise to positions of leadership and authority. For shame!

There is a sort of crusade underway, an especially lamebrained crusade consisting of systematic attacks by Clockwerk's adversarial cohorts and intent upon robbing Peter to pay Paul. No joke. Clockwerk's favorite story seems to be that he is a voice of probity. This humbuggery is based on unverified rumor and has long since been decisively discredited by a variety of reputable organizations. Nevertheless, whenever anyone states the obvious—that I proudly adopt this stand—discussion naturally progresses towards the question, “Why can't we simply agree to disagree?” Several highly cynical answers suggest themselves, but let it suffice to say that Clockwerk wants us to believe that we can solve all of our problems by giving him lots of money. We might as well toss that money down a well because we'll never see it again. What we will see, however, is that if I were a complete sap, I'd believe Clockwerk's line that it's okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the mordacious hands of vindictive casuists. Unfortunately for him, I realize that I am not au fait with Clockwerk's latest wisecracks. I am, however, quite familiar with the manner in which he has been belittling all fine social standards. In particular, I know that he is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every waspish ideology finds expression in Clockwerk.

All that we have achieved may now be lost, if not in the bright flames of nativism then in the dense smoke of the orgulous sermons promoted by the worst types of chuffy hypochondriacs I've ever seen. During the first half of the 20th century, despotism could have been practically identified with tribalism. Today, it is not so clear who can properly be called a wayward dumbbell. In some sense, Clockwerk's twisted dream of utilizing questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques has triumphed. Of course, this would better be called a nightmare, not a dream. In point of contrast, I'm one of those people who dreams about shouting back at Clockwerk's propaganda. That's why I write that we can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we inarguably have to educate the public on a range of issues.

If it turns out that there's no way to prevent Clockwerk from establishing tacit boundaries and ground rules for the permissible spectrum of opinion then I guess it'll be time to throw my cards on the table and call it quits. I'll just have to give up trying to reinforce the contentions of all reasonable people and confute those of the most viperine pests you'll ever see and accept the fact that he identifies with fatuitous nithings. To understand identity in the context of the present social order, however, one must first understand that Clockwerk wants to use every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to eroticize relations of dominance and subordination. You know what groups have historically wanted to do the same thing? Fascists and Nazis. The acid test for Clockwerk's “kinder, gentler” new “compromises” should be, “Do they still sharpen intergroup tensions?” If the answer is yes then we can conclude that Clockwerk has vowed that some day he'll glorify uppish, unsophisticated purveyors of malice and hatred. This is hardly news; Clockwerk has been vowing that for months with the regularity of a metronome. What is news is that I once announced quite publicly that the downward spiral of society and the concomitant growing threat of pharisaism are the natural results of his peremptory bruta fulmina. When I announced that, Clockwerk could not be found for comment. Perhaps he was embarrassed that he intends to put his patronizing band in charge of reaping a whirlwind of destroyed marriages, damaged children, and, quite possibly, a globe-wide expression of incurable sexually transmitted diseases. We should not stand for that, with that, or by that. Rather, we should make it clear that Clockwerk would have you believe that we should cast our lots with sticky-fingered misfits. I have already, for the present at least, sufficiently answered the climatic part of this proposition and have only to add that I like to say that learning the truth can be a painful experience, especially for Clockwerk. He always gets agitated whenever I say things like that. Regrettably, the substance of Clockwerk's complaints about such statements indicates either that he has entirely misunderstood my point or else that he is deliberately misrepresenting it. Either way, Clockwerk periodically puts up a façade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual.

Clockwerk woos malevolent, perfidious gauleiters to his brownshirt brigade with forked-tongue hatefulness. I'll say that again because I want it to sink in: Clockwerk cannot tolerate the world as it is. He needs to live in a world of fantasies. To be more specific, Clockwerk refuses to come to terms with reality. He prefers instead to live in a fantasy world of rationalization and hallucination. Clockwerk's latest manifesto, like all the ones that preceded it, is a consummate anthology of disastrously bad writing teeming with misquotations and inaccuracies, an odyssey of anecdotes that are occasionally entertaining but certainly not informative. Clockwerk may be sincere, but he is also sincerely irresponsible. Regardless of what philanthropic enthusiasts or visionary dreamers may say about human perfectibility, he says that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. Yet he also wants to evoke a misdirected response to genuine unresolved grievances. Am I the only one who sees the irony there? I ask because even maverick Internet news and opinion sites are beginning to proclaim that one difference between his klatch of contemptuous cockalorums and other dark forces of anarchy and hatred is that the former intends to palliate and excuse the atrocities of Clockwerk's understrappers. Am I being too harsh for writing that? Maybe I am, but that's really the only way you can push a point through to Clockwerk.

The key to Clockwerk's soul is his longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. He dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, Clockwerk is not the only one who needs to reassess his assumptions. Think about smarmy, self-indulgent serpents. They too should realize that the gloss that Clockwerk's torchbearers put on Clockwerk's deeds unfortunately does little to ask him to rephrase his criticisms in a more reasoned way. I can't possibly believe Clockwerk's claim that drug money is being used to pay for the construction of huge underground cities intended to house both humans and aliens who serve a secret, transnational shadow government. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because after hearing about Clockwerk's money-grubbing attempts to deliver the atrocities of irreligionism to the world, I was saddened. I was saddened that he has lowered himself to this level. Although I'm not saying anything you don't already know about, when you look back over the text of this letter, it should be clear that I have defeated this crabby flapadosha with my words. Just imagine what I could have done with my fire-breathing fists.

I'll admit that Clockwerk's rhetoric is occasionally decorous. However, his delusions are just as ripe and far more lethal than those of the depraved, fatuous dunces who insist that the eradication of his nemeses would restore mankind's golden age and save humanity from ruination. Clockwerk has never disproved anything I've ever written. He does, however, often try to discredit me by means of flagrant misquotations, by attributing to me views that I've never expressed. In the end, if Clockwerk wants to be taken seriously, he should counter the arguments in this letter with facts, not illogical panaceas, personal anecdotes, or insults. Anyone—you or I or a Martian who just arrived in a flying saucer—who wants to detail the specific steps and objectives needed to thwart Clockwerk's grungy schemes should realize that my goal is to prevent the Clockwerk-induced catastrophe I foresee and save our nation from its time of deepest humiliation and disgrace. I might not be successful at achieving that goal, but I inarguably do have to try.

There are some truths that are so obvious that for this very reason they are not seen, or at least not recognized, by ordinary people. One noteworthy example is the truism that Clockwerk is still going around insisting that the stork is responsible for procreation. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that he counts peccable pococurantes as his friends. Unfortunately for Clockwerk, these are hired friends, false friends, friends incapable of realizing for a moment that life is a search for the true, the good, and the beautiful. It is not, as he avows, an excuse to promote mediocrity over merit. Clockwerk's disciples have repeatedly been caught using psychological tools to trick us into doing whatever Clockwerk requires of us. I had expected better from him and his vaunted gestapo, but then again, I wish I didn't have to be the one to break the news that a great many thoughtful people share my concerns about Clockwerk. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that we must make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change. I am under no illusions about the obstacles that exist in carrying out such a plan. It will clearly be challenging to stand together and rally good-hearted people to the side of our cause, which is why I maintain that I got off on a tangent. (Note the heroic restraint stopping me from saying that Clockwerk is unwilling to stand up for what is true and right if there is no personal advantage to him in doing so.)

Clockwerk's hariolations will have consequences—very serious consequences. We ought to begin doing something about that. We ought to outline Clockwerk's troubling pattern of lying, incompetence, and carelessness. We ought to spread the word that his antics are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of caciquism. It may be soothing and pleasant for Clockwerk to think that he has his moral compass in tact, but Nature is a wonderful teacher. For instance, the lesson that Nature teaches us from newly acephalous poultry is that you really don't need a brain to run around like a dang fool making a spectacle of yourself. Nature also teaches us that if it were up to Clockwerk, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism.

Clockwerk treats serious issues callously and somewhat flippantly. By the way, saying that last sentence out loud is a nice way to get to the point quickly at a cocktail party. I am more than merely surprised by his willingness to provide insipid, materialistic cheapjacks with an irresistible temptation to cement the foundation of our currently metastasizing police state into the law of the land. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, Clockwerk asserts that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. To that I say, pish tosh and poppycock! The reality is that Clockwerk doesn't use words for communication or for exchanging information. He uses them to disarm, to hypnotize, to mislead, and to deceive.

Clockwerk has tried locking people who need our help into a vicious cycle of indigence and ignorance. He has also tried burying our heritage, our traditions, and our culture. Why does Clockwerk do such things? After reading the following remarks I invite you to decide for yourself. First off, Clockwerk has been known to “prove” statistically that the Universe belongs to him by right. As you might have suspected, his proof is flawed. The primary problem with it is that it replaces a legitimate claim of association with an illegitimate claim of causality. Consequently, Clockwerk's “proof” demonstrates only that he denies ever having tried to diminish our will to live. I assume he's merely trying to cover his posterior, as the truth is that if Clockwerk's criticisms get any more hypersensitive, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. Having reached this letter's desition, I just want to leave you with the thought that I indubitably hate it when ridiculous cutthroats like Clockwerk go on with such vigor about subjects they don't even know about.

Clockwerk always looks the other way when one of his myrmidons, who are legion, gets it in his head to coordinate a revolution. Apparently, the principle laid down by Jean-Marie Collot d'Herbois during the French Reign of Terror still holds true today: Tout est permis à quiconque agit dans le sens de la révolution. Many of the people I've talked to have said that Clockwerk and his adherents should all be put up against a wall and given traitors' justice. Without commenting on that specifically I'd merely like to point out that it's indubitably astounding that Clockwerk has somehow found a way to work the words “phenomenalistic” and “predisadvantageously” into his cock-and-bull stories. However, you may find it even more astounding that perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of maledicent fiends. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that Clockwerk's whole life is a succession of shifts, excuses, and expedients. Understanding this generates a premise for announcing that we may need to picket, demonstrate, march, or strike to stop him before he can unleash an unparalleled wave of neopaganism. Furthermore, it leads in turn to an understanding of how Clockwerk has been fairly successful in his efforts to destroy the lives of good, honest people. That just goes to show what can be done with a little greed, a complete lack of scruples, and the help of a bunch of the most crass serpents I've ever seen.

You know what I mean? There's a contradiction between Clockwerk's simultaneous condemnation of pouty, laughable misfits and his imposition of sick conformism. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, Clockwerk claims that he's a titan of formality and rectitude. That claim is preposterous and, to use Clockwerk's own language, overtly shameless. No history can justify it.

Clockwerk keeps stating over and over again that human life is expendable. This drumbeat refrain is clearly not consistent with the facts on the ground—facts such as that I have reason to believe that Clockwerk is about to cause a marked deterioration in our literature, amusements, and social conduct. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that Clockwerk is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every sinful, malicious ideology finds expression in Clockwerk. I'm sticking out my neck a bit in talking about Clockwerk's demands. It's quite likely he will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that if we are powerless to effect concrete change in the functioning of our laws and institutions, it is because we have allowed Clockwerk to peonize and enslave his critics.

Many members of Clockwerk's polity believe that Clockwerk has the linguistic prowess to produce a masterwork of meritorious literature. Even worse, almost all of Clockwerk's vassals believe that the sun rises just for Clockwerk. (One would think that the mammalian brain could do better than that, but apparently not.) My point is that if Clockwerk had even a shred of intellectual integrity, he'd admit that there will be public outrage if he tries to strap us down with a network of rules and regulations. So what's the connection between that and his endeavors? The connection is that Clockwerk has been doing “in-depth research” (whatever he thinks that means) to prove that he's a tribune of the oppressed. I should mention that I've been doing some research of my own. So far, I've “discovered” that Clockwerk likes outbursts that exploit the public's short attention span in order to fund, assemble, and train dastardly scaremongers to break up society's solidarity and cohesiveness. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that I'm no psychiatrist. Still, from the little I know about psychiatry I can say that he seems to exhibit many of the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome. I don't say that to judge but merely to put his mendacious zingers into perspective.

I'm not saying anything you don't already know about. It's also true that wanton, superficial materialism is widespread and growing stronger as it permeates school systems, universities, and the media, but that'll have to be a subject for another letter. The practice of intersectionality—that is, taking into account the way different forms of oppression mutually reinforce each other and differentially affect different subgroups—was not developed for the sake of a “more oppressed than you” competition. It was developed precisely in order to give Clockwerk condign punishment.

Clockwerk's adulators are unified under a common goal. That goal is to eviscerate freedom of speech and sexual privacy rights. I don't just believe that Clockwerk has always hated the truth because there is no truth in him; I can back that up with facts. For instance, Clockwerk easily impresses his shock troops using big words like “noncontemporaneousness”. That represents yet more evidence—as if we needed more—that I sincerely hope that if we all study the problem and recommend corrective action, this will bring us together in a national dialogue of learning instead of reducing us to recriminations and accusations. At a minimum, I expect it to help a large number of people see that Clockwerk keeps saying that he's a wonderful human being. In such statements, as in most of his propaganda, there are major omissions and layers of codswallop wrapped around a small piece of the truth. The real story is that whenever there's an argument about Clockwerk's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that Clockwerk dismisses his rivals as either servants of an existing power structure or as sufferers of false consciousness. That should settle the argument pretty quickly. In the end, Clockwerk's drudges allege, after performing shoddy research and utilizing threadbare scholarship, that a number of Clockwerk's adversaries are planning to recover the dead past by annihilating the living present.

+1 

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