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For Immediate Release, February 1, 2023


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PORTLAND, Ore.— The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service announced today that the Altis Toad will be listed as threatened under the Endangered Species Act. The toad is the most widespread shitter to receive such protection. It breeds in Kavala Square and is often found doing dumb shit. 

The toad is primarily threatened by an introduced security team known as Goatse Security. It is increasingly threatened by repeatedly having their asses gaped, which is leading to increased RDM and racism.

 

 

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