Kowalski Posted July 1, 2016 Report Share Posted July 1, 2016 (edited) UPDATE: After our therapy session, I found out the guy actually happened to be a fucking badass. We're m8's now....but he still owe me 100k for the session Hey everyone! Haven't posted in a while, so might as well share one of the events of my visit back to Altis Life today. Backstory: I'm talking through town with a vest on my chest and a rook at my hip. I'm actually about to commit suicide because of my drinking problem and crippling lack of cyber-gf….(also friends needed me across the island) However, before I could take my own life, I receive a text message! “HANDS-UP-OR-DIE” Being the rebellious type, I ran in circles, and looked around for the guy, expecting a rook-carrying freshie to put me out of my misery….until I realized it was *gasp, a member of a large RP gang! Too late, 7.62 round lodged in skull, wake up later, blahblahblah. But something wasn't right….an RP gang member in full rebel gear randomly text-handsup-banging a civvy? This sounds like a case for Dr. Kowalski! So I got his number and got to work: (This conversation takes place while my buddies were driving me to buy a new set of gear) Me: “Hey dude, it's me, Kowalski, the guy you totally rekt in town today. Just wondering, why did you decide to hands-up bang me?” Him: “does it really matter” Me: “Well, listen, man, if text-banging unarmed civvies while wearing full gear makes your cock feel bigger, by all means, go for it...” - “...I was just wondering if you had any other incentive besides that?” Him: “why are you so mad dude” Me: “Just disappointed, son. I thought I had a choice to kill myself instead of letting some dude make his bounty look more badass…!” Him: “i dont get why ur typing so much bout so little” Me: “They wouldn't let me drive...you're my only company.” Him: “dude idk why u care so much about this” Me: “Listen, bud, no need to get insecure on me. Like I said, I don't judge. Killing civvies is cheaper than buying a big loud hummer.” - "Just wish your RP would be more fun" TL;DR You get some interesting results if you talk to your killer personally instead of bitching in side chat. ALSO I TOTALLY WASNT MAD!!! >:( That said, I think I pretty much earned my therapy license right there. I'll gladly listen and advise anyone about their life problems for a measly 100k. Edited July 2, 2016 by Kowalski Sergio, pete, Mosin Nagant and 1 other like this Link to comment
Mosin Nagant Posted July 1, 2016 Report Share Posted July 1, 2016 When can we schedule a session? I need to talk to you about a seething hatred I'm developing for a certain group of people that seem to enjoy making my vermin runs require me to don a rebel load out Vortex likes this Link to comment
Kowalski Posted July 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2016 1 minute ago, Mosin Nagant said: When can we schedule a session? I need to talk to you about a seething hatred I'm developing for a certain group of people that seem to enjoy making my vermin runs require me to don a rebel load out PM me with a 100k IOU and a preferred time Mosin Nagant likes this Link to comment
Mosin Nagant Posted July 1, 2016 Report Share Posted July 1, 2016 I'll get right back to you after I'm done making 8 player reports Kowalski likes this Link to comment
ryno7 Posted July 2, 2016 Report Share Posted July 2, 2016 100% works talked to @Kowalski for 30 minutes and instantly became @L1onin side chat to @Sp^ceGod George likes this Link to comment
Yung Spacegod. Posted July 2, 2016 Report Share Posted July 2, 2016 10 hours ago, ryno7 said: 100% works talked to @Kowalski for 30 minutes and instantly became @L1onin side chat to @Sp^ceGod lmfao Link to comment
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