Dr. Kowalski: Computer-Chair Therapist

[Kowalski]

 

UPDATE: After our therapy session, I found out the guy actually happened to be a fucking badass. We're m8's now....but he still owe me 100k for the session

 

 

Hey everyone! Haven't posted in a while, so might as well share one of the events of my visit back to Altis Life today.

 

Backstory: I'm talking through town with a vest on my chest and a rook at my hip. I'm actually about to commit suicide because of my drinking problem and crippling lack of cyber-gf….(also friends needed me across the island) However, before I could take my own life, I receive a text message! “HANDS-UP-OR-DIE” Being the rebellious type, I ran in circles, and looked around for the guy, expecting a rook-carrying freshie to put me out of my misery….until I realized it was *gasp, a member of a large RP gang! Too late, 7.62 round lodged in skull, wake up later, blahblahblah.

 

But something wasn't right….an RP gang member in full rebel gear randomly text-handsup-banging a civvy? This sounds like a case for Dr. Kowalski! So I got his number and got to work:

 

 

(This conversation takes place while my buddies were driving me to buy a new set of gear)

Me: “Hey dude, it's me, Kowalski, the guy you totally rekt in town today. Just wondering, why did you decide to hands-up bang me?”

Him: “does it really matter”

Me: “Well, listen, man, if text-banging unarmed civvies while wearing full gear makes your cock feel bigger, by all means, go for it...” - “...I was just wondering if you had any other incentive besides that?”

Him: “why are you so mad dude”

Me: “Just disappointed, son. I thought I had a choice to kill myself instead of letting some dude make his bounty look more badass…!”

Him: “i dont get why ur typing so much bout so little” 

Me: “They wouldn't let me drive...you're my only company.”

Him: “dude idk why u care so much about this”

Me: “Listen, bud, no need to get insecure on me. Like I said, I don't judge. Killing civvies is cheaper than buying a big loud hummer.” - "Just wish your RP would be more fun"

 

TL;DR You get some interesting results if you talk to your killer personally instead of bitching in side chat. 

ALSO I TOTALLY WASNT MAD!!! >:(

 

That said, I think I pretty much earned my therapy license right there. I'll gladly listen and advise anyone about their life problems for a measly 100k. 

Edited July 2, 2016 by Kowalski

[Mosin Nagant]

When can we schedule a session? I need to talk to you about a seething hatred I'm developing for a certain group of people that seem to enjoy making my vermin runs require me to don a rebel load out 

[Kowalski]

1 minute ago, Mosin Nagant said:

When can we schedule a session? I need to talk to you about a seething hatred I'm developing for a certain group of people that seem to enjoy making my vermin runs require me to don a rebel load out 

PM me with a 100k IOU and a preferred time 

[Mosin Nagant]

I'll get right back to you after I'm done making 8 player reports

[ryno7]

100% works talked to @Kowalski for 30 minutes and instantly became @L1onin side chat to @Sp^ceGod 

[Yung Spacegod.]

10 hours ago, ryno7 said:

100% works talked to @Kowalski for 30 minutes and instantly became @L1onin side chat to @Sp^ceGod 

• lmfao 

[George]

@Alec-I