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Rock Hardick

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Rock Hardick

Rock Hardick

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As many of you know, I am Rock Hardick.

I am sure that this attack may seem like a travesty. Our things lost, our time wasted, shown that we are vulnerable. It can be a devastating thing to realize. However, there is a silver lining.

Allow me to tell you a tale of when I first joined Asylum. It is a long story, but hopefully you will get through it:

Almost a year ago now, I saw Mr Moon playing on Olympus on YouTube and it convinced me to download Arma 3. Looking for the Altis Life mod, I joined Asylum instead. Upon spawning for the first time in Kavala in front of the square, I immediately saw a small mob of people. I went up to them and, since my character was an old man, decided to RP as an old man. They laughed, they loved me, I role played the Hell out of it and even went so far as to tell one of the members to shoot me and kill me, "before the cancer does!". Anyway, the guy ended up shooting and downing me. Not knowing what downing was, I thought I was dead. On top of my unconscious body there was a lot of yelling, more gunshots, and panic. I woke up to find that Amethyst, a young lady who was part of the mob whom would later that day take me under her wing and teach me how to play, had been kidnapped and I watched her being taken into a building and up a flight of stairs followed by an angry mob trying to save her. I ran and rejoined them, yelling at the kidnapper only to find that I distracted the terrorist with my banter long enough for a HERO OF JUSTICE to come up and shoot him thus freeing Amethyst before she was thrown off the balcony to her demise. I basically saved her life.

Since we had so much fun kidnapping people as fake undercover cops and executing people in Kavala square, I wanted her to teach me more fun things to do on the server. I was having a blast! But it turns out she was whitelisted and often played cop. So I waited around Kavala HQ for her to take me in her car as a civilian ride along. This happened often, so often in fact that I became known and loved by every cop, admin, and mod on the server (except for the Captains) but especially the LTs. Most days as I waited for her (which was very often as she was my only in game friend at the time), I worked the police gate and charged people to get in. Everything I did drew in a crowd. I even led a few police briefings, blackmailed some cops, and was sent in as a negotiator a few times. ALL AS A CIV. Of course, I was asked non-stop to join the force. I was even bribed! I once stole a police helicopter from 6 cops after they locked me in the copilot and all hopped out to refuel . They loved me even after I crashed.

Fast forward to after I became a cadet* The week of Hell. Robocop week of nervousness. They drill the fear of God (or admins) into you making you scared out of your mind to make a mistake. I realized “Wait a minute, this isn’t fun.” and wanted to retake the week more relaxed and open with civs. However, I was forced into the ride along. Not wanting to pass, I answered the questions *When is it appropriate for a cop to enter a drug field* “When he’s looking for a fix”.

The 2 LTs giving me my ride along, not wanting me to fail, had the test last for over 5 hours.

As a cadet, I was soon well known by the civilians. When one would act out and throw a tantrum, cursing, slandering the cops with a bad attitude and saying “JUST SEND ME TO JAIL!”, I would run over, yell at the cops, RP it out, talk to the civ, be on his side, and really add a twist. By the end they would decline the half ticket and insist on paying a full ticket for me.

The cops loved me, the civilians loved me (Think of every cop getting killed at every opportunity, but never me), everything was fine and dandy until one day – We had just quelled a Fed robbery and there were 20+ cops in the TS server. Before anyone left, an LT I had never seen before joined the channel and immediately said “Rock. Change your name. NOW.”. Confused I asked “My name?” to which he replied “Did I stutter!?”. Now, after being shown such utter disrespect and foul attitude in front of my friends, I was a bit ticked off. I calmly replied “No, you didn’t. But neither did-“ (as I went on to name 5 at the time LTs) “who said they love my name and it is perfectly acceptable.”. Upon completing my sentence and stunning the LT, everyone in the TS starting warning me “SHHH ROCK! STOP! THAT’S AN LT!” to which I replied “AND I’M ROCK HARDICK, BABY!”.

After a few moments the LT stated “Okay. We’ll just see what DURGA has to say about this!” then left. The TS lit up again with everyone saying “Oh noooo! Not Durga! He’s going to make you change your name and ban you!”. Before I could reply I was pulled into a room with the one and only CAPTAIN DURGA! Now before this I had never met a Captain and I had only heard of Durga on one other occasion which was when I was warned not to have him for my ride along as he is said to fail people for missing but ONE question.

You see folks, Durga was not a bad guy. He was made out to be the devil because of his job- which was to keep everyone in check. If I had his job, people would undoubtedly hate me and start rumors, too. It was unfortunate that he had to take the brunt of everyone’s fear and hate for banning rule breaking friends, but he was a necessary piece to make Asylum great and he loved his job. He was a great and hilarious cop with easily flowing RP.

Back to the story: Durga asked me one question. “Rock, how do you say your name?” to which I replied “Why, Rock Hardick, of course. As in ‘HEYY YOU’RE LISTENING TO- 102.7 ROOOOCK HARDICK IN THE MORNING! Giving YOU, Rock Hard-ick, in the morning! I’m your host! ROOOOOOOOCK HARRRRDICK!”

Durga had 3 words for me. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” With a chuckle he made me an LT for a few seconds and sent me on my way.

After a few months I was traveling for about a month or so and when I got back, an LT I had never met before removed me saying I can’t be offline that long as a cadet. Excited about my first amount of civ time in 3 months, I happily pranced around Kavala and as fate and the highest amount of luck in the world would have it, I ran into DURGA. Durga, whom I NEVER see in game EVER. He came up to me and asked “Rock, why aren’t you a cop?” I told him I was removed due to inactivity and he told me something I will never forget. “Rock, I am going to be honest with you. I am not going to let him do that to you. You are without a doubt the single best role player that I have ever met and I want you in this server as much as possible.” My jaw dropped. THIS was the Durga that everyone said was the meanest guy in the world? THIS was the Durga people hated for no reason? I asked him to make me a Perma cadet with civ privileges. Confused as to why I wanted to be a cadet and conflicted as to whether or not he could, he decided to grant my wish. Since then, I have been offered an LT position 3 times.

Now, the final part of our story begins. I had to leave Asylum for about 4 months. I moved to Tokyo, Japan, you see. When I returned to Asylum, what I saw was an atrocity. All my friends, all of the RPers, gone. With them- 80% of the monthly donation rate. A complete staff turnover for the APD where no one knew my name. Upon meeting and playing with them, I found that no one would RP. Not the cops nor the civilians. Turns out, all of the old civs quit, too. No one in the server knew my name. It was a nightmare that I thought I would never see. I had finally caught up with Abstand and a few remnants from the glory days. I discussed with them what had happened and they told me that my leaving had a chain reaction of sorts. With the RPers leaving, gangs became less sociable and just kept doing random non-rp attacks. There was mass fighting between staff and gangs both in game and on forum. People just stopped having fun.

I finally met up with Durga only to find out he resigned. I talked to him and the other Captains, I told them how to fix the servers. Durga and Jamooze gave me their full support and Durga even told the Captains “This man is the best cop I have ever seen aside from myself and I would highly recommend that you do not tell him no.”. Unfortunately, there were complications and my plans were unable to take effect.

Now for the sliver lining-

Ladies and gentlemen, we have been given a chance at a new start. To rebuild Asylum in the image we desire. A new standard for cops is in order. Cops are 50% of the fun on the server. Just them being there to enforce consequences makes them something to add a thrill to the game, but they must be more than that. Cops who do not RP and have fun with civs lead to civs who do not want to be around cops. We need to make the cops liked, not hated. There has to be a new social standard throughout the force. This will also get the donations back up to it's former state as well.

I have returned for the final time and I will not be going anywhere. I can, and given the opportunity, will help rebuild. I can make the police great again and in turn, make all of Asylum great.

Lend me your support so that I may help you enjoy Asylum as much as I used to. Whether I am an admin, a mod, a Captain, an LT, a mere advisor, or even the legendary training officer Chief of Cadets, I can help this server. Give me a chance.

Love your Perma-Cadet, Rock Hardick

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explicit

explicit

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Posted

I won't sugarcoat this letter. This is a very bitter letter. Small children and the faint of heart should stop reading and leave the room. Some background is in order: You might say, “It's time that Mr. Rock Hardick be held to account for the aberrant and worthless environment that he's cultivated.” Fine, I agree. But peddling cameralism to all comers is less wise than giving free amphetamines to school children, although it's probably just as profitable for Rock. In my opinion, grenades and flamethrowers would do less damage, though. The point is that the picture I am presenting need not be confined to Rock's generalizations. It applies to everything he says and does.

Rock repeatedly expresses the view that bad things “just happen” (i.e., they're not caused by Rock himself). If the average Joe actually paused for a moment to analyze this dreck in a clear-eyed way, he'd realize that Rock's method (or school, or ideology—it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of “Rock-ism”. It is an ungracious and avowedly stroppy philosophy that aims to rot our minds with the hallucinatory drug of Tartuffism. Ten years ago, it was fickle big-labor bosses. Today, it's coprophagous phlyarologists who defile the air and water in the name of profit.

What our nation needs is more respect for the law, not less. There's nothing controversial about that view. It's a fact, pure and simple. It was a fact long before anyone realized that Rock alleges that he knows the “right” way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. However, I've repeatedly pointed out to him that his modes of thought are sensationalism cloaked in the rhetoric of hostile, frightful exhibitionism. That apparently didn't register with him, though. Oh, well; I guess one of Rock's confreres once said, “75 million years ago, a galactic tyrant named Xenu solved the overpopulation problem of his 76-planet federation by transporting the excess people to Earth, chaining them to volcanoes, and dropping H-bombs on them.” Now that's pretty funny, of course, but I didn't include that quote just to make you laugh. I included it to convince you that Rock's secret passion is to conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings. For shame!

Even leaving aside the thorny matter of divining the varying proportion of Rock's connivance, acquiescence, foreknowledge, exploitation, and incompetence in pampering goofy, iracund skivers, we can state the following as an established fact: If Rock thinks that his ignorance is just as good as our knowledge then maybe he should lay off the wacky tobacky. He is still going around insisting that we'll be moved by some heartfelt words on the glories of yahooism. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that what we're seeing is a domino effect of events that started with him stating that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. That prevarication incited his menials to waffle on all the issues. The worst sorts of venom-spouting preachers of racialism there are reacted, in turn, by turning a deaf ear to need and suffering. The next domino to fall, not surprisingly, was a widespread increase in Maoism, and that's the event that galvanized me to tell everyone that if Rock is going to court a puerile minority of the most pea-brained pickpockets you'll ever see, then he should at least have the self-respect to remind himself of a few things: First, he speaks with such certainty and self-confidence that his surrogates are totally convinced that anyone who disagrees with Rock is ultimately possession-obsessed. And second, if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem.

There's only one true drama queen around here, and Rock is the one wearing the crown. I can't help it if Rock can't take a joke. That's probably obvious to a blind man on a galloping horse. Nevertheless, I suspect that few people reading this letter are aware that Rock has inherited the whole of his little stock of phrases and notions, which he is pleased to call “ideas”, from vicious aretalogers. I'm sorry, but there's no politer way to put that. I will tactfully note, however, that Rock intends to put his high-handed brotherhood of headstrong killjoys in charge of spewing forth ignorance and prejudice. We should not stand for that, with that, or by that. Rather, we should make it clear that while Rock and other sordid curmudgeons sometimes differ on the details and scale of their upcoming campaigns of terror they never fail to agree on the basic principle and substance. Hence, it is imperative that you understand that he hates, with a pure and perfect hatred, all those who scuttle his pudibund attempts to step on other people's toes. Now I could go off on that point alone, but the quest to encourage young people to break all the rules, cut themselves loose from their roots, and adopt a disdainful lifestyle is the true inner kernel of his philosophy, insofar as this figment of an addlepated brain can be designated a “philosophy”. Need I say more? I don't think so, but this I will say: Rock's idea of officialism is not, as you might expect, a mild paraphrase for consigning most of us to the role of his servants or slaves. It is something else entirely: an ossified doctrine of antipathy towards those who wage war on revisionism. As evidence, consider that I intend to look closely at his screeds to see what makes them so effectual at destroying the sovereignty of all nations and every feeling or expression of patriotism. I should expect to find—this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify—that Rock has planted his tuft-hunters everywhere. You can find them in businesses, unions, activist organizations, tax-exempt foundations, professional societies, movies, schools, churches, and so on. Not only does this subversive approach enhance Rock's ability to bring about a wonderland of moral relativism, but it also provides irrefutable evidence that there are two related questions in this matter. The first is to what extent he has tried to condemn children to a life of drugs, gangs, drinking, rape, incest, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and a number of other horrors. The other is whether or not what really irks me is that Rock has presented us with a Hobson's choice. Either we let him create a Rock-centric society in which disaffected goofballs dictate the populace's values and myths, its traditions and archetypes, or he'll cloak neopaganism in the garments of truth and beauty.

Rather than persuade you myself that Rock's cop-outs are colored by a sycophantic adoration of rowdyism, I decided to gather input from various independent observers: teachers, farmers, shopkeepers, doctors, and so forth. I've tried to get balanced and reasonably accurate views about Rock's ophidian objectives. For instance, a policeman I interviewed pointed out how Rock is trying to hide the fact that there is much more of this to come. Nevertheless, one thing that rings true with crystalline clarity is that in the absence of any meaningful way to make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change, many people retreat into laagers of place, race, or religion as a means of self-defense against Rock.

If we can understand what has caused the current plague of shiftless, closed-minded polemicists, I believe that we can then reach out for things with permanence, things beyond wealth and comfort and pleasure, things that have real meaning. When I first heard about Rock's missives, I dismissed them as merely callow. But when I later learned that he wants me to sink in an ocean of grief, I realized that my purpose here is not to view the realms of antidisestablishmentarianism and cynicism not as two opposing poles but as two continua. Well, okay, it is. But I should point out that I've run into some distressing examples of confirmation bias among Rock's dupes. For instance, they think that Rock is a moral exemplar. Interestingly, though, they fail to notice that if there is any fixed star in Rock's constellation of deluded wheelings and dealings, it's that stereotyping and victim-blaming is not more respectable when it is performed by a member of the group being demeaned. I say that because I can undeniably suggest how Rock ought to behave. Ultimately, however, the burden of acting with moral rectitude lies with Rock himself.

I would like to comment on Rock's attempt to associate egoism with fetishism. There is no association. Will dimwitted scammers ever teach even raving, libidinous oligarchs about our nation's core values and ideals, including courage, honor, honesty, religious freedom, and individual rights? Don't bet on it. If it weren't for unenlightened quidnuncs, Rock would have no friends.

There is undoubtedly a pigheaded dimension to Rock's tirades. Or, if “pigheaded” is too narrow of a term, perhaps you'd prefer “patronizing”. In any case, Rock is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead. His ability to capitalize on the economic chaos, racial tensions, and social discontent of the current historical moment can be explained in large part by the following. Rock has been known to say that the rockets our enemies want to launch at us are filled with gumdrops and happiness. That notion is so wishy-washy, I hardly know where to begin refuting it.

Stick your nose into anything Rock has written recently, and you'll get a good whiff of drugged-out, peremptory priggism. I wouldn't want to snooker people of every stripe into believing that he has the experience, ideas, leadership, and integrity to move our nation forward. I would, on the other hand, love to dole out acerbic criticism of Rock and his phalanx of unscrupulous protégés, who are legion. But, hey, I'm already doing that with this letter. Individually, his accusations break down traditional values. But linked together, his orations could pour a few drops of wormwood into our general enthusiasm. At this point, let me mention that some of my friends have criticized my previous letters for sounding too negative. They suggested that I adopt a more positive tone in the future. Well, as I've reached the end of this letter, I guess I can try ending on a positive note: I'm positive that Mr. Rock Hardick is, without question, the most inficete prevaricator on the planet.

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Rock Hardick

Rock Hardick

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I won't sugarcoat this letter. This is a very bitter letter. Small children and the faint of heart should stop reading and leave the room. Some background is in order: You might say' date=' “It's time that Mr. Rock Hardick be held to account for the aberrant and worthless environment that he's cultivated.” Fine, I agree. But peddling cameralism to all comers is less wise than giving free amphetamines to school children, although it's probably just as profitable for Rock. In my opinion, grenades and flamethrowers would do less damage, though. The point is that the picture I am presenting need not be confined to Rock's generalizations. It applies to everything he says and does.

Rock repeatedly expresses the view that bad things “just happen” (i.e., they're not caused by Rock himself). If the average Joe actually paused for a moment to analyze this dreck in a clear-eyed way, he'd realize that Rock's method (or school, or ideology—it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of “Rock-ism”. It is an ungracious and avowedly stroppy philosophy that aims to rot our minds with the hallucinatory drug of Tartuffism. Ten years ago, it was fickle big-labor bosses. Today, it's coprophagous phlyarologists who defile the air and water in the name of profit.

What our nation needs is more respect for the law, not less. There's nothing controversial about that view. It's a fact, pure and simple. It was a fact long before anyone realized that Rock alleges that he knows the “right” way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. However, I've repeatedly pointed out to him that his modes of thought are sensationalism cloaked in the rhetoric of hostile, frightful exhibitionism. That apparently didn't register with him, though. Oh, well; I guess one of Rock's confreres once said, “75 million years ago, a galactic tyrant named Xenu solved the overpopulation problem of his 76-planet federation by transporting the excess people to Earth, chaining them to volcanoes, and dropping H-bombs on them.” Now that's pretty funny, of course, but I didn't include that quote just to make you laugh. I included it to convince you that Rock's secret passion is to conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings. For shame!

Even leaving aside the thorny matter of divining the varying proportion of Rock's connivance, acquiescence, foreknowledge, exploitation, and incompetence in pampering goofy, iracund skivers, we can state the following as an established fact: If Rock thinks that his ignorance is just as good as our knowledge then maybe he should lay off the wacky tobacky. He is still going around insisting that we'll be moved by some heartfelt words on the glories of yahooism. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that what we're seeing is a domino effect of events that started with him stating that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. That prevarication incited his menials to waffle on all the issues. The worst sorts of venom-spouting preachers of racialism there are reacted, in turn, by turning a deaf ear to need and suffering. The next domino to fall, not surprisingly, was a widespread increase in Maoism, and that's the event that galvanized me to tell everyone that if Rock is going to court a puerile minority of the most pea-brained pickpockets you'll ever see, then he should at least have the self-respect to remind himself of a few things: First, he speaks with such certainty and self-confidence that his surrogates are totally convinced that anyone who disagrees with Rock is ultimately possession-obsessed. And second, if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem.

There's only one true drama queen around here, and Rock is the one wearing the crown. I can't help it if Rock can't take a joke. That's probably obvious to a blind man on a galloping horse. Nevertheless, I suspect that few people reading this letter are aware that Rock has inherited the whole of his little stock of phrases and notions, which he is pleased to call “ideas”, from vicious aretalogers. I'm sorry, but there's no politer way to put that. I will tactfully note, however, that Rock intends to put his high-handed brotherhood of headstrong killjoys in charge of spewing forth ignorance and prejudice. We should not stand for that, with that, or by that. Rather, we should make it clear that while Rock and other sordid curmudgeons sometimes differ on the details and scale of their upcoming campaigns of terror they never fail to agree on the basic principle and substance. Hence, it is imperative that you understand that he hates, with a pure and perfect hatred, all those who scuttle his pudibund attempts to step on other people's toes. Now I could go off on that point alone, but the quest to encourage young people to break all the rules, cut themselves loose from their roots, and adopt a disdainful lifestyle is the true inner kernel of his philosophy, insofar as this figment of an addlepated brain can be designated a “philosophy”. Need I say more? I don't think so, but this I will say: Rock's idea of officialism is not, as you might expect, a mild paraphrase for consigning most of us to the role of his servants or slaves. It is something else entirely: an ossified doctrine of antipathy towards those who wage war on revisionism. As evidence, consider that I intend to look closely at his screeds to see what makes them so effectual at destroying the sovereignty of all nations and every feeling or expression of patriotism. I should expect to find—this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify—that Rock has planted his tuft-hunters everywhere. You can find them in businesses, unions, activist organizations, tax-exempt foundations, professional societies, movies, schools, churches, and so on. Not only does this subversive approach enhance Rock's ability to bring about a wonderland of moral relativism, but it also provides irrefutable evidence that there are two related questions in this matter. The first is to what extent he has tried to condemn children to a life of drugs, gangs, drinking, rape, incest, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and a number of other horrors. The other is whether or not what really irks me is that Rock has presented us with a Hobson's choice. Either we let him create a Rock-centric society in which disaffected goofballs dictate the populace's values and myths, its traditions and archetypes, or he'll cloak neopaganism in the garments of truth and beauty.

Rather than persuade you myself that Rock's cop-outs are colored by a sycophantic adoration of rowdyism, I decided to gather input from various independent observers: teachers, farmers, shopkeepers, doctors, and so forth. I've tried to get balanced and reasonably accurate views about Rock's ophidian objectives. For instance, a policeman I interviewed pointed out how Rock is trying to hide the fact that there is much more of this to come. Nevertheless, one thing that rings true with crystalline clarity is that in the absence of any meaningful way to make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change, many people retreat into laagers of place, race, or religion as a means of self-defense against Rock.

If we can understand what has caused the current plague of shiftless, closed-minded polemicists, I believe that we can then reach out for things with permanence, things beyond wealth and comfort and pleasure, things that have real meaning. When I first heard about Rock's missives, I dismissed them as merely callow. But when I later learned that he wants me to sink in an ocean of grief, I realized that my purpose here is not to view the realms of antidisestablishmentarianism and cynicism not as two opposing poles but as two continua. Well, okay, it is. But I should point out that I've run into some distressing examples of confirmation bias among Rock's dupes. For instance, they think that Rock is a moral exemplar. Interestingly, though, they fail to notice that if there is any fixed star in Rock's constellation of deluded wheelings and dealings, it's that stereotyping and victim-blaming is not more respectable when it is performed by a member of the group being demeaned. I say that because I can undeniably suggest how Rock ought to behave. Ultimately, however, the burden of acting with moral rectitude lies with Rock himself.

I would like to comment on Rock's attempt to associate egoism with fetishism. There is no association. Will dimwitted scammers ever teach even raving, libidinous oligarchs about our nation's core values and ideals, including courage, honor, honesty, religious freedom, and individual rights? Don't bet on it. If it weren't for unenlightened quidnuncs, Rock would have no friends.

There is undoubtedly a pigheaded dimension to Rock's tirades. Or, if “pigheaded” is too narrow of a term, perhaps you'd prefer “patronizing”. In any case, Rock is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead. His ability to capitalize on the economic chaos, racial tensions, and social discontent of the current historical moment can be explained in large part by the following. Rock has been known to say that the rockets our enemies want to launch at us are filled with gumdrops and happiness. That notion is so wishy-washy, I hardly know where to begin refuting it.

Stick your nose into anything Rock has written recently, and you'll get a good whiff of drugged-out, peremptory priggism. I wouldn't want to snooker people of every stripe into believing that he has the experience, ideas, leadership, and integrity to move our nation forward. I would, on the other hand, love to dole out acerbic criticism of Rock and his phalanx of unscrupulous protégés, who are legion. But, hey, I'm already doing that with this letter. Individually, his accusations break down traditional values. But linked together, his orations could pour a few drops of wormwood into our general enthusiasm. At this point, let me mention that some of my friends have criticized my previous letters for sounding too negative. They suggested that I adopt a more positive tone in the future. Well, as I've reached the end of this letter, I guess I can try ending on a positive note: I'm positive that Mr. Rock Hardick is, without question, the most inficete prevaricator on the planet.[/quote']

For the first few seconds, I thought you were serious! Then I saw the made up quotes such as the 75 million years thing and the "I have told Rock many times-!" and the other weird and crazy things that made no sense and I realized "Oh, this is a copy/paste and he just put my name in where the other guy's name was because of how long the post was." Really had me going there for a minute. EDIT: Okay I finally got around to checking- THAT COPY PASTE IS OVER 7 YEARS OLD AND WAS DIRECTED TOWARDS JAGEX FOR RUNESCAPE! I had myself a nice laugh and now feel pretty stupid

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