Kowalski

UPDATE: After our therapy session, I found out the guy actually happened to be a fucking badass. We're m8's now....but he still owe me 100k for the session Hey everyone! Haven't posted in a while, so might as well share one of the events of my visit back to Altis Life today. Backstory: I'm talking through town with a vest on my chest and a rook at my hip. I'm actually about to commit suicide because of my drinking problem and crippling lack of cyber-gf….(also friends needed me across the island) However, before I could take my own life, I receive a text message! “HANDS-UP-OR-DIE” Being the rebellious type, I ran in circles, and looked around for the guy, expecting a rook-carrying freshie to put me out of my misery….until I realized it was *gasp, a member of a large RP gang! Too late, 7.62 round lodged in skull, wake up later, blahblahblah. But something wasn't right….an RP gang member in full rebel gear randomly text-handsup-banging a civvy? This sounds like a case for Dr. Kowalski! So I got his number and got to work: (This conversation takes place while my buddies were driving me to buy a new set of gear) Me: “Hey dude, it's me, Kowalski, the guy you totally rekt in town today. Just wondering, why did you decide to hands-up bang me?” Him: “does it really matter” Me: “Well, listen, man, if text-banging unarmed civvies while wearing full gear makes your cock feel bigger, by all means, go for it...” - “...I was just wondering if you had any other incentive besides that?” Him: “why are you so mad dude” Me: “Just disappointed, son. I thought I had a choice to kill myself instead of letting some dude make his bounty look more badass…!” Him: “i dont get why ur typing so much bout so little” Me: “They wouldn't let me drive...you're my only company.” Him: “dude idk why u care so much about this” Me: “Listen, bud, no need to get insecure on me. Like I said, I don't judge. Killing civvies is cheaper than buying a big loud hummer.” - "Just wish your RP would be more fun" TL;DR You get some interesting results if you talk to your killer personally instead of bitching in side chat. ALSO I TOTALLY WASNT MAD!!! >:( That said, I think I pretty much earned my therapy license right there. I'll gladly listen and advise anyone about their life problems for a measly 100k.

Don't shit talk the dad jeans m8 they get me mad bitches.

Merrell climbing shoes boys. It's too warm for boots but too muddy for J's, so I've been dressing like a hiker this past week. Lol yeah I'm noob with the unit. I'll try it again in a few days. Maybe put a vector of a bambi holding a rook on the other side

I was in the lab testing some new function generators when a couple known laser technicians walked in with their fancy engraver. Saw me and asked if I wanted to play around with it. Immediately knew what to do.

Fuck college. Can't wait for the weekend when I'm not busy as fuck. Down for some hardcore abo RP!

Man you're beating the fuck outta those dust collectors...get an air compressor in there!

crap forgot to include anime profile pics

I addressed this recently:

I still love you all though. <3 Might make more of these in the future.

Just saw the results. YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING ANIMALS

ADD ANOTHER QUESTION. REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT. When you wipe your ass, do you look at the toilet paper before throwing it in? This starts a screaming argument WITHOUT FAIL. Seriously, try it. It's a 50/50 issue.

Flying rotorlib on Asylum is like playing professional soccer with your feet tied together. Why???

10/10 I need to start a phone scamming business now.

The real Chinese guys had legitimate Chinese names (like the names of EBay merchants when filtered price low->high) They actually got banned for RDM a lot because they would bounty hunt without announcing and go "uhhh...uhh, n-no english!" Pretty sure now they're permed cause they were duping diamonds like crazy. (according to area folk, might not be 100% true) One time I managed to say something Chinese to them(thanks Google) and they replied and I'm like "oh shit now what" Anyway I killed em cause they had me as a bounty rip

Shit dude it's been too long I can't tell if you're doing wyverns or GWD edit: nvm lol I'm a mong there's blurite ore you in cave by Port Sarim

Sure. [Insert screenshot of rival gangmember being a dickhead, receive warning points for personal attack] [Insert story about side-chat salt, though pretty much every Asylum player who's played over an hour has experienced the same situation]

Gang sportsmanship is an oxymoron

Grab that TRG and get back to work!

fite me OSRS jk im banned

Despite being a Stratis elitist, Tanoa might just change my mind. Maybe. What I'm looking for is the same thing as Stratis: Money-making is a bit more spread out(to avoid shitstorms 24/7) yet the hub city is still occupied at all times. If it means a bigger, laggier map, I'm cool with it, so long as the population is properly distributed.

r.i.p. real chinese guys

I personally have never witnessed a taru being taken down by small arms fire.

Interested in the phone system...and its potential for abuse Also THANK YOU BASED PARATUS for fixing the firing mode bug. SMG's suddenly switching to single fire is a slippery slope to getting unnecessarily rekt.

"performance" all I needed to hear <3

I don't argue with them. You really can't win...but you can refuse to appease them. Their goal is to be taken seriously, whether it's in a positive or negative matter. Negative attention is gold to them because it gives them something to bitch about. However, they can only go so far with not being taken seriously...if they complain about that, readers will think too much and suddenly realize that those people are right. In the rare event that I venture out of the math/engineering quad of my school, I occasionally run into these types of people. (They like college because they get to "be free from their parents" while their parents still fund their lifestyle) Last time I recall I was walking with a few friends and some pug-faced artista came my way with a petition. I read the title: "CALL FOR [professor] TO RESIGN FOR NOT TEACHING [some bs] IN HISTORY ###" Basically some bs about being oppressive for not covering a very specific piece of rhetoric from a very VERY biased point of view.) I gave her a nice wide smile and let out a loud laugh as I passed the clipboard back. She opened her mouth to say something, only to pause, blush, and piss off back to the fountain where her stuff was. Girl I was with was like "omg u asshooooooole" but then she started laughing too. Everyone live happily ever after the end.