Ranga: For 1337 jaun taps
That one guy from Bad Blood: Because in this world, it would work
Donald Trump: Can't Stump
Milo Yiannopoulos: Diversity
A Muslim: Diversity
A Nun: Gender Equality and because nuns don't detonate
Tachanka: Lord Chank wills it
3 Randoms off the forums: Mass recruiting: Throw as many bodies at them as possible like a true top gang
Math Teacher: Because 4 in 3 kids can't math