Jump to content

stoned turtle

Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    87

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Posts posted by stoned turtle

  5. Green money making zones

    in Denied

    Posted

    13 minutes ago, Austin M said:

    Yes, and no. I actually tabbed back in after clipping that and for what ever reason I’ll never learn that right click = left click in arma…

    true true i hate when i accidentally click on my suicide vest in athira hq 

  10. Well...here we go...

    in Announcements

    Posted

    10 minutes ago, skimancole said:

    #1. This is a APD suggestion. Not a staff suggestion.

    #2. Only 9 cops out of the 100+ officers are at the rank where they can pull ifrits all the time. Fed event's aren't going to be easy, and each fed event takes a different skill level to complete. Fed event's aren't catered towards new players, as they're supposed to be some of the hardest things to do on the map.

    #3. Out of these 9 cops, I'd say probably 6 of them never even pull armour or Ifrits because they're too scared to. The ifrits are pretty expensive on cop when you look at how much more the APD dies, respawns, and get's their stuff stolen. That's why their kits are also cheaper. Civs aren't always going to win.

    didnt ask dont care + ur white

  11. A list of suggestions from a long time player

    in Denied

    Posted

    13 minutes ago, Aristant said:

    Bring a central game hub to a city like Pyro. Casino, Duels, Minigames etc. This will increase RP and instead of downtime being AFK or get off, it could be go to the hub nd make new connections and have fun.

     

     

    Even this would be a huge start. I've had multiple people tell me that the tractor derby was the most fun they've had in a long time and it was nothing but pure silliness. Too many people get lost in the grind/competitiveness and forget that it's a game and we're meant to be having fun. 

  17. A list of suggestions from a long time player

    in Denied

    Posted

    Hi 🙂

    Before I list my suggestions, I want to give some background information on myself. I've been playing since 2014/2015, have had multiple CoPs/Captains start their APD career as my cadets, and have been involved with some of the largest gang fights there have ever been on the server.  I remember the days of gangs rolling 20+ deep with multiple orcas full of people dropping on enemy gang members across the island in an exciting game of cat and mouse. Nowadays, you're lucky to see a gang online with enough members to fill a hatchback. By no means am I some wizard that magically knows the reasons for the way things are, but I think I can offer an interesting perspective on things. 

     

    Overlying Issues

     

    • Gang life needs a serious revival. I'm not sure of the exact cause, but it seems like there is zero motivation for gangs to fight each other. You don't have massive fights for a cartel anymore like when Brotherhood and FSA would duke it out. You're lucky to get a fight most of the time. I've seen turfs go uncaptured for over an hour just because nobody has the motivation to go cap it. Maybe someone more active in the serious gang life can shed some light on that.

     

    • Civilians desperately need better ways to make money. If weed isn't legal, civilians are fucked unless they can time their runs right. Gangs aren't fighting each other, so the newbies trying to make some money often end up on the receiving end of their boredom. 

     

    • The APD's ratio needs readjusted. There have been times when there is 30 people online, 12 of them are cops. That's just not a fair ratio for civilians or rebels. Cops get bored, load up in an orca, and run around with warrant squad to hot drop on the gangmate duo who are trying to run some meth, or they chain checking the illegal areas together so it's impossible to make money.

     

    • The economy needs a good looking at. We need to find a way of adding a money sink for the top end while making the core gameplay loop accessible for newbies.  There's no reason for someone with $54m in their bank to be robbing a guy with $14k in his bank. 

     

    Specific Suggestions

    • Allow us to process from vehicles. The downside would be that it would take a larger cut and take significantly longer to process.
    • Have economic hotspots. For some time, an area would have a boosted rate of production. Increased diamonds at high yield, tuna bite going crazy, new strain at weed field, etc. This would bring people interested in that form of money making to one area of the map and increase RP. 
    • Allow the larger gangs to conduct "raids" of each others safehouse. This would be a larger project but I believe it would increase competition among the gangs. These safehouses would be triggered via custom event and the gangs would work with designers to each have their individual layout, this would make attacking each safehouse a new experience. Could possibly be scripted to allow the use of emplaced weapons/heavier vehicles?
    • Remove the whitelisting of medics. There's no reason for medics to still be whitelisted. Nobody likes hitting a chicken wire fence and then seeing "Medics online : 0"
    • If possible, rotate key points in the map. Allow new players to experience the creativity that was Kavala prison, or Pyrgos bank. 
    Gackel, |Cam|, Walt and 3 others like this

  21. Lonely? Need a friend? Purchase a Stoned Turtle for just 10% of your revenue

    in Business

    Posted · Edited by stoned turtle

    Are you tired of picking peaches by yourself? Are you tired of getting caught alone at meth lab? Do you need a scape goat for when you fail the bank? 

    Look no further. 

    For just 10% of your activities revenue, you can rent me for your activity! 
     

    Look forward to an amazing experience featuring : 

    • A huge playlist of amazing songs to play via vehicle or direct chat
    • Proven to be a great distraction by being clinically retarded
    • Creative insults for when we get caught by the cops (Christmas gift from Badabing, anyone?)
    • Need to be flown somewhere? No problem! I've been watching the pilots in the Ukranian/Russian war, I know how to fly 15m above ground to avoid AA and maximize chances of vdming someone. 

    REVIEWS

    "Stoned Turtle distracted the cops by flashing his dick and helped us escape from meth lab!" - @D. Grinch

    "Stoned Turtle has a litty playlist, ask about Taco Bell!" - @a black person

    "Stoned Turtle drove me to the brink of F11 irl with his insults" - @EDGE eGAMER

    "Stoned Turtle was willing to stand in the open and get 1 tapped by andyr to prove he was cheating, will use again!" - @FilipinoBusinessman

    "Stoned Turtle was able to help us take down Farmersville and stop the illegal weed trade!" - @Leroy Jenkins

    "Stoned Turtle was able to help me find a new home for my Tempest, he's the best!" - @Nikkii


     

    Find out today why Stoned Turtle is the #1 rent-a-friend service that Asylum has to offer! 

    massi, Batcan, Bob Danaloo and 4 others like this

  25. For Immediate Release, February 1, 2023

    in Videos and Screenshots

    Posted

    PORTLAND, Ore.— The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service announced today that the Altis Toad will be listed as threatened under the Endangered Species Act. The toad is the most widespread shitter to receive such protection. It breeds in Kavala Square and is often found doing dumb shit. 

    The toad is primarily threatened by an introduced security team known as Goatse Security. It is increasingly threatened by repeatedly having their asses gaped, which is leading to increased RDM and racism.

     

     

×
×
  • Create New...