stoned turtle

i voted no but he has a better chance of touching pussy than skiman does

why can't i buy a fedora at rebel but i can buy a fedora in kavala? 

makes no sense

at least give us this since u removed the bape drip

Are you tired of picking peaches by yourself? Are you tired of getting caught alone at meth lab? Do you need a scape goat for when you fail the bank? 

Look no further. 

For just 10% of your activities revenue, you can rent me for your activity! 
 
Look forward to an amazing experience featuring : 
A huge playlist of amazing songs to play via vehicle or direct chat Proven to be a great distraction by being clinically retarded Creative insults for when we get caught by the cops (Christmas gift from Badabing, anyone?) Need to be flown somewhere? No problem! I've been watching the pilots in the Ukranian/Russian war, I know how to fly 15m above ground to avoid AA and maximize chances of vdming someone.  REVIEWS
"Stoned Turtle distracted the cops by flashing his dick and helped us escape from meth lab!" - @D. Grinch
"Stoned Turtle has a litty playlist, ask about Taco Bell!" - @a black person
"Stoned Turtle drove me to the brink of F11 irl with his insults" - @EDGE eGAMER
"Stoned Turtle was willing to stand in the open and get 1 tapped by andyr to prove he was cheating, will use again!" - @FilipinoBusinessman
"Stoned Turtle was able to help us take down Farmersville and stop the illegal weed trade!" - @Leroy Jenkins
"Stoned Turtle was able to help me find a new home for my Tempest, he's the best!" - @Nikkii


 
Find out today why Stoned Turtle is the #1 rent-a-friend service that Asylum has to offer! 

why can't i buy a fedora at rebel but i can buy a fedora in kavala? 

makes no sense

at least give us this since u removed the bape drip

wtf bring back the bape u fucking banana fucker

wtf bring back the bape u fucking banana fucker

Special thank you to @Jimmy Turnupfor being an absolute madlad with the hemtts. Music provided by some random dude with his VOIP on, and food provided by Red Burger. 

Great turnout, was very fun. 

Are you tired of picking peaches by yourself? Are you tired of getting caught alone at meth lab? Do you need a scape goat for when you fail the bank? 

Look no further. 

For just 10% of your activities revenue, you can rent me for your activity! 
 
Look forward to an amazing experience featuring : 
A huge playlist of amazing songs to play via vehicle or direct chat Proven to be a great distraction by being clinically retarded Creative insults for when we get caught by the cops (Christmas gift from Badabing, anyone?) Need to be flown somewhere? No problem! I've been watching the pilots in the Ukranian/Russian war, I know how to fly 15m above ground to avoid AA and maximize chances of vdming someone.  REVIEWS
"Stoned Turtle distracted the cops by flashing his dick and helped us escape from meth lab!" - @D. Grinch
"Stoned Turtle has a litty playlist, ask about Taco Bell!" - @a black person
"Stoned Turtle drove me to the brink of F11 irl with his insults" - @EDGE eGAMER
"Stoned Turtle was willing to stand in the open and get 1 tapped by andyr to prove he was cheating, will use again!" - @FilipinoBusinessman
"Stoned Turtle was able to help us take down Farmersville and stop the illegal weed trade!" - @Leroy Jenkins
"Stoned Turtle was able to help me find a new home for my Tempest, he's the best!" - @Nikkii


 
Find out today why Stoned Turtle is the #1 rent-a-friend service that Asylum has to offer! 

i voted no but he has a better chance of touching pussy than skiman does

Hi 🙂

Before I list my suggestions, I want to give some background information on myself. I've been playing since 2014/2015, have had multiple CoPs/Captains start their APD career as my cadets, and have been involved with some of the largest gang fights there have ever been on the server.  I remember the days of gangs rolling 20+ deep with multiple orcas full of people dropping on enemy gang members across the island in an exciting game of cat and mouse. Nowadays, you're lucky to see a gang online with enough members to fill a hatchback. By no means am I some wizard that magically knows the reasons for the way things are, but I think I can offer an interesting perspective on things. 
 
Overlying Issues
 
Gang life needs a serious revival. I'm not sure of the exact cause, but it seems like there is zero motivation for gangs to fight each other. You don't have massive fights for a cartel anymore like when Brotherhood and FSA would duke it out. You're lucky to get a fight most of the time. I've seen turfs go uncaptured for over an hour just because nobody has the motivation to go cap it. Maybe someone more active in the serious gang life can shed some light on that.  
Civilians desperately need better ways to make money. If weed isn't legal, civilians are fucked unless they can time their runs right. Gangs aren't fighting each other, so the newbies trying to make some money often end up on the receiving end of their boredom.   
The APD's ratio needs readjusted. There have been times when there is 30 people online, 12 of them are cops. That's just not a fair ratio for civilians or rebels. Cops get bored, load up in an orca, and run around with warrant squad to hot drop on the gangmate duo who are trying to run some meth, or they chain checking the illegal areas together so it's impossible to make money.  
The economy needs a good looking at. We need to find a way of adding a money sink for the top end while making the core gameplay loop accessible for newbies.  There's no reason for someone with $54m in their bank to be robbing a guy with $14k in his bank.   
Specific Suggestions
Allow us to process from vehicles. The downside would be that it would take a larger cut and take significantly longer to process. Have economic hotspots. For some time, an area would have a boosted rate of production. Increased diamonds at high yield, tuna bite going crazy, new strain at weed field, etc. This would bring people interested in that form of money making to one area of the map and increase RP.  Allow the larger gangs to conduct "raids" of each others safehouse. This would be a larger project but I believe it would increase competition among the gangs. These safehouses would be triggered via custom event and the gangs would work with designers to each have their individual layout, this would make attacking each safehouse a new experience. Could possibly be scripted to allow the use of emplaced weapons/heavier vehicles? Remove the whitelisting of medics. There's no reason for medics to still be whitelisted. Nobody likes hitting a chicken wire fence and then seeing "Medics online : 0" If possible, rotate key points in the map. Allow new players to experience the creativity that was Kavala prison, or Pyrgos bank. 

Are you tired of picking peaches by yourself? Are you tired of getting caught alone at meth lab? Do you need a scape goat for when you fail the bank? 

Look no further. 

For just 10% of your activities revenue, you can rent me for your activity! 
 
Look forward to an amazing experience featuring : 
A huge playlist of amazing songs to play via vehicle or direct chat Proven to be a great distraction by being clinically retarded Creative insults for when we get caught by the cops (Christmas gift from Badabing, anyone?) Need to be flown somewhere? No problem! I've been watching the pilots in the Ukranian/Russian war, I know how to fly 15m above ground to avoid AA and maximize chances of vdming someone.  REVIEWS
"Stoned Turtle distracted the cops by flashing his dick and helped us escape from meth lab!" - @D. Grinch
"Stoned Turtle has a litty playlist, ask about Taco Bell!" - @a black person
"Stoned Turtle drove me to the brink of F11 irl with his insults" - @EDGE eGAMER
"Stoned Turtle was willing to stand in the open and get 1 tapped by andyr to prove he was cheating, will use again!" - @FilipinoBusinessman
"Stoned Turtle was able to help us take down Farmersville and stop the illegal weed trade!" - @Leroy Jenkins
"Stoned Turtle was able to help me find a new home for my Tempest, he's the best!" - @Nikkii


 
Find out today why Stoned Turtle is the #1 rent-a-friend service that Asylum has to offer! 

I already have been doing this. I will post it in the videos section on discord.

Hi 🙂

Before I list my suggestions, I want to give some background information on myself. I've been playing since 2014/2015, have had multiple CoPs/Captains start their APD career as my cadets, and have been involved with some of the largest gang fights there have ever been on the server.  I remember the days of gangs rolling 20+ deep with multiple orcas full of people dropping on enemy gang members across the island in an exciting game of cat and mouse. Nowadays, you're lucky to see a gang online with enough members to fill a hatchback. By no means am I some wizard that magically knows the reasons for the way things are, but I think I can offer an interesting perspective on things. 
 
Overlying Issues
 
Gang life needs a serious revival. I'm not sure of the exact cause, but it seems like there is zero motivation for gangs to fight each other. You don't have massive fights for a cartel anymore like when Brotherhood and FSA would duke it out. You're lucky to get a fight most of the time. I've seen turfs go uncaptured for over an hour just because nobody has the motivation to go cap it. Maybe someone more active in the serious gang life can shed some light on that.  
Civilians desperately need better ways to make money. If weed isn't legal, civilians are fucked unless they can time their runs right. Gangs aren't fighting each other, so the newbies trying to make some money often end up on the receiving end of their boredom.   
The APD's ratio needs readjusted. There have been times when there is 30 people online, 12 of them are cops. That's just not a fair ratio for civilians or rebels. Cops get bored, load up in an orca, and run around with warrant squad to hot drop on the gangmate duo who are trying to run some meth, or they chain checking the illegal areas together so it's impossible to make money.  
The economy needs a good looking at. We need to find a way of adding a money sink for the top end while making the core gameplay loop accessible for newbies.  There's no reason for someone with $54m in their bank to be robbing a guy with $14k in his bank.   
Specific Suggestions
Allow us to process from vehicles. The downside would be that it would take a larger cut and take significantly longer to process. Have economic hotspots. For some time, an area would have a boosted rate of production. Increased diamonds at high yield, tuna bite going crazy, new strain at weed field, etc. This would bring people interested in that form of money making to one area of the map and increase RP.  Allow the larger gangs to conduct "raids" of each others safehouse. This would be a larger project but I believe it would increase competition among the gangs. These safehouses would be triggered via custom event and the gangs would work with designers to each have their individual layout, this would make attacking each safehouse a new experience. Could possibly be scripted to allow the use of emplaced weapons/heavier vehicles? Remove the whitelisting of medics. There's no reason for medics to still be whitelisted. Nobody likes hitting a chicken wire fence and then seeing "Medics online : 0" If possible, rotate key points in the map. Allow new players to experience the creativity that was Kavala prison, or Pyrgos bank. 

Are you tired of picking peaches by yourself? Are you tired of getting caught alone at meth lab? Do you need a scape goat for when you fail the bank? 

Look no further. 

For just 10% of your activities revenue, you can rent me for your activity! 
 
Look forward to an amazing experience featuring : 
A huge playlist of amazing songs to play via vehicle or direct chat Proven to be a great distraction by being clinically retarded Creative insults for when we get caught by the cops (Christmas gift from Badabing, anyone?) Need to be flown somewhere? No problem! I've been watching the pilots in the Ukranian/Russian war, I know how to fly 15m above ground to avoid AA and maximize chances of vdming someone.  REVIEWS
"Stoned Turtle distracted the cops by flashing his dick and helped us escape from meth lab!" - @D. Grinch
"Stoned Turtle has a litty playlist, ask about Taco Bell!" - @a black person
"Stoned Turtle drove me to the brink of F11 irl with his insults" - @EDGE eGAMER
"Stoned Turtle was willing to stand in the open and get 1 tapped by andyr to prove he was cheating, will use again!" - @FilipinoBusinessman
"Stoned Turtle was able to help us take down Farmersville and stop the illegal weed trade!" - @Leroy Jenkins
"Stoned Turtle was able to help me find a new home for my Tempest, he's the best!" - @Nikkii


 
Find out today why Stoned Turtle is the #1 rent-a-friend service that Asylum has to offer! 

Are you tired of picking peaches by yourself? Are you tired of getting caught alone at meth lab? Do you need a scape goat for when you fail the bank? 

Look no further. 

For just 10% of your activities revenue, you can rent me for your activity! 
 
Look forward to an amazing experience featuring : 
A huge playlist of amazing songs to play via vehicle or direct chat Proven to be a great distraction by being clinically retarded Creative insults for when we get caught by the cops (Christmas gift from Badabing, anyone?) Need to be flown somewhere? No problem! I've been watching the pilots in the Ukranian/Russian war, I know how to fly 15m above ground to avoid AA and maximize chances of vdming someone.  REVIEWS
"Stoned Turtle distracted the cops by flashing his dick and helped us escape from meth lab!" - @D. Grinch
"Stoned Turtle has a litty playlist, ask about Taco Bell!" - @a black person
"Stoned Turtle drove me to the brink of F11 irl with his insults" - @EDGE eGAMER
"Stoned Turtle was willing to stand in the open and get 1 tapped by andyr to prove he was cheating, will use again!" - @FilipinoBusinessman
"Stoned Turtle was able to help us take down Farmersville and stop the illegal weed trade!" - @Leroy Jenkins
"Stoned Turtle was able to help me find a new home for my Tempest, he's the best!" - @Nikkii


 
Find out today why Stoned Turtle is the #1 rent-a-friend service that Asylum has to offer! 

Special thank you to @Jimmy Turnupfor being an absolute madlad with the hemtts. Music provided by some random dude with his VOIP on, and food provided by Red Burger. 

Great turnout, was very fun. 

Special thank you to @Jimmy Turnupfor being an absolute madlad with the hemtts. Music provided by some random dude with his VOIP on, and food provided by Red Burger. 

Great turnout, was very fun. 

As someone who used to think you were a piece of shit, you completely 180ed that with "To the people that confided their deepest secrets and struggles with me, know that I have still never repeated those to anyone and they will continue to rest with me. I hope you have found peace from those burdens." 
 
Don't be scared to speak
Don't speak with someone's tooth
Don't bargain when you're weak
Don't take that sharp abuse
Some patients can't be saved
But that burden's not on you
Don't ever let anyone tell you you deserve that

 

Special thank you to @Jimmy Turnupfor being an absolute madlad with the hemtts. Music provided by some random dude with his VOIP on, and food provided by Red Burger. 

Great turnout, was very fun. 

Hi 🙂

Before I list my suggestions, I want to give some background information on myself. I've been playing since 2014/2015, have had multiple CoPs/Captains start their APD career as my cadets, and have been involved with some of the largest gang fights there have ever been on the server.  I remember the days of gangs rolling 20+ deep with multiple orcas full of people dropping on enemy gang members across the island in an exciting game of cat and mouse. Nowadays, you're lucky to see a gang online with enough members to fill a hatchback. By no means am I some wizard that magically knows the reasons for the way things are, but I think I can offer an interesting perspective on things. 
 
Overlying Issues
 
Gang life needs a serious revival. I'm not sure of the exact cause, but it seems like there is zero motivation for gangs to fight each other. You don't have massive fights for a cartel anymore like when Brotherhood and FSA would duke it out. You're lucky to get a fight most of the time. I've seen turfs go uncaptured for over an hour just because nobody has the motivation to go cap it. Maybe someone more active in the serious gang life can shed some light on that.  
Civilians desperately need better ways to make money. If weed isn't legal, civilians are fucked unless they can time their runs right. Gangs aren't fighting each other, so the newbies trying to make some money often end up on the receiving end of their boredom.   
The APD's ratio needs readjusted. There have been times when there is 30 people online, 12 of them are cops. That's just not a fair ratio for civilians or rebels. Cops get bored, load up in an orca, and run around with warrant squad to hot drop on the gangmate duo who are trying to run some meth, or they chain checking the illegal areas together so it's impossible to make money.  
The economy needs a good looking at. We need to find a way of adding a money sink for the top end while making the core gameplay loop accessible for newbies.  There's no reason for someone with $54m in their bank to be robbing a guy with $14k in his bank.   
Specific Suggestions
Allow us to process from vehicles. The downside would be that it would take a larger cut and take significantly longer to process. Have economic hotspots. For some time, an area would have a boosted rate of production. Increased diamonds at high yield, tuna bite going crazy, new strain at weed field, etc. This would bring people interested in that form of money making to one area of the map and increase RP.  Allow the larger gangs to conduct "raids" of each others safehouse. This would be a larger project but I believe it would increase competition among the gangs. These safehouses would be triggered via custom event and the gangs would work with designers to each have their individual layout, this would make attacking each safehouse a new experience. Could possibly be scripted to allow the use of emplaced weapons/heavier vehicles? Remove the whitelisting of medics. There's no reason for medics to still be whitelisted. Nobody likes hitting a chicken wire fence and then seeing "Medics online : 0" If possible, rotate key points in the map. Allow new players to experience the creativity that was Kavala prison, or Pyrgos bank. 

i voted no but he has a better chance of touching pussy than skiman does

Hi 🙂

Before I list my suggestions, I want to give some background information on myself. I've been playing since 2014/2015, have had multiple CoPs/Captains start their APD career as my cadets, and have been involved with some of the largest gang fights there have ever been on the server.  I remember the days of gangs rolling 20+ deep with multiple orcas full of people dropping on enemy gang members across the island in an exciting game of cat and mouse. Nowadays, you're lucky to see a gang online with enough members to fill a hatchback. By no means am I some wizard that magically knows the reasons for the way things are, but I think I can offer an interesting perspective on things. 
 
Overlying Issues
 
Gang life needs a serious revival. I'm not sure of the exact cause, but it seems like there is zero motivation for gangs to fight each other. You don't have massive fights for a cartel anymore like when Brotherhood and FSA would duke it out. You're lucky to get a fight most of the time. I've seen turfs go uncaptured for over an hour just because nobody has the motivation to go cap it. Maybe someone more active in the serious gang life can shed some light on that.  
Civilians desperately need better ways to make money. If weed isn't legal, civilians are fucked unless they can time their runs right. Gangs aren't fighting each other, so the newbies trying to make some money often end up on the receiving end of their boredom.   
The APD's ratio needs readjusted. There have been times when there is 30 people online, 12 of them are cops. That's just not a fair ratio for civilians or rebels. Cops get bored, load up in an orca, and run around with warrant squad to hot drop on the gangmate duo who are trying to run some meth, or they chain checking the illegal areas together so it's impossible to make money.  
The economy needs a good looking at. We need to find a way of adding a money sink for the top end while making the core gameplay loop accessible for newbies.  There's no reason for someone with $54m in their bank to be robbing a guy with $14k in his bank.   
Specific Suggestions
Allow us to process from vehicles. The downside would be that it would take a larger cut and take significantly longer to process. Have economic hotspots. For some time, an area would have a boosted rate of production. Increased diamonds at high yield, tuna bite going crazy, new strain at weed field, etc. This would bring people interested in that form of money making to one area of the map and increase RP.  Allow the larger gangs to conduct "raids" of each others safehouse. This would be a larger project but I believe it would increase competition among the gangs. These safehouses would be triggered via custom event and the gangs would work with designers to each have their individual layout, this would make attacking each safehouse a new experience. Could possibly be scripted to allow the use of emplaced weapons/heavier vehicles? Remove the whitelisting of medics. There's no reason for medics to still be whitelisted. Nobody likes hitting a chicken wire fence and then seeing "Medics online : 0" If possible, rotate key points in the map. Allow new players to experience the creativity that was Kavala prison, or Pyrgos bank. 

Hi 🙂

Before I list my suggestions, I want to give some background information on myself. I've been playing since 2014/2015, have had multiple CoPs/Captains start their APD career as my cadets, and have been involved with some of the largest gang fights there have ever been on the server.  I remember the days of gangs rolling 20+ deep with multiple orcas full of people dropping on enemy gang members across the island in an exciting game of cat and mouse. Nowadays, you're lucky to see a gang online with enough members to fill a hatchback. By no means am I some wizard that magically knows the reasons for the way things are, but I think I can offer an interesting perspective on things. 
 
Overlying Issues
 
Gang life needs a serious revival. I'm not sure of the exact cause, but it seems like there is zero motivation for gangs to fight each other. You don't have massive fights for a cartel anymore like when Brotherhood and FSA would duke it out. You're lucky to get a fight most of the time. I've seen turfs go uncaptured for over an hour just because nobody has the motivation to go cap it. Maybe someone more active in the serious gang life can shed some light on that.  
Civilians desperately need better ways to make money. If weed isn't legal, civilians are fucked unless they can time their runs right. Gangs aren't fighting each other, so the newbies trying to make some money often end up on the receiving end of their boredom.   
The APD's ratio needs readjusted. There have been times when there is 30 people online, 12 of them are cops. That's just not a fair ratio for civilians or rebels. Cops get bored, load up in an orca, and run around with warrant squad to hot drop on the gangmate duo who are trying to run some meth, or they chain checking the illegal areas together so it's impossible to make money.  
The economy needs a good looking at. We need to find a way of adding a money sink for the top end while making the core gameplay loop accessible for newbies.  There's no reason for someone with $54m in their bank to be robbing a guy with $14k in his bank.   
Specific Suggestions
Allow us to process from vehicles. The downside would be that it would take a larger cut and take significantly longer to process. Have economic hotspots. For some time, an area would have a boosted rate of production. Increased diamonds at high yield, tuna bite going crazy, new strain at weed field, etc. This would bring people interested in that form of money making to one area of the map and increase RP.  Allow the larger gangs to conduct "raids" of each others safehouse. This would be a larger project but I believe it would increase competition among the gangs. These safehouses would be triggered via custom event and the gangs would work with designers to each have their individual layout, this would make attacking each safehouse a new experience. Could possibly be scripted to allow the use of emplaced weapons/heavier vehicles? Remove the whitelisting of medics. There's no reason for medics to still be whitelisted. Nobody likes hitting a chicken wire fence and then seeing "Medics online : 0" If possible, rotate key points in the map. Allow new players to experience the creativity that was Kavala prison, or Pyrgos bank.