Bag Of Funyuns

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY
Menace to Society has been removed:
Menace has lost its original purpose over the year to combat those who would wrack up high bounties vs cops. Instead, has been used over time on civilians who primarily engaged in civ vs civ combat. We will instead be aiming policy to those who are continually aggressive towards the APD for long periods of time. 
Straight to Jail Offenses: 
Any officer may now send a subject straight to jail for having 6 or more federal event charges. (Number is subject to change) Federal Event charges include:
Bank Robbery Federal Reserve Robbery Jewelry Emporium Robbery Raiding the Evidence Lockup Prison Break Shipping Robbery Mental Asylum Robbery  
Constable Playtime Requirement:
Constable Playtime has been reduced. Constables now have to maintain 5 hours every 3 months, instead of the previous 10 hours. 
Gang Fort/Boat Update:
Gang Fort/Boat will now be treated as an illegal area when uncontested.
When Gang Fortress/Boat is contested, Officers may only enter for:
-Active and visual pursuit
-APB Tracking

 

Inactivity Policy for returning Constable+:
 
In order to streamline returning members of the APD we are creating a standardized policy for those who are returning who previously obtained the rank of Constable. This is not retroactive, and will only apply to those looking to renter the APD after 12/14/2022. Anyone at the rank of CPL+ who steps away from the APD may be placed at their previous rank or lower based on CPT review  
 
From date of removal to 1 month
 
APD question only interview, reinstate to Constable
From 1 month to 3 months of removal
Can take an extended interview, combination of both regular interview and extended with multiple GB questions. If pass will be reinstated to constable.
From 3 months to 1 year
Regular interview, 3 day cadet period
1+ year
Regular Interview, 1 week cadet period
 

Any questions please reach out to a Captain!

I can see why you cheated faggot, you're fucking dogshit.

You really are as retarded as I thought you were LMAO

This takes nading yourself to a whole new level.

Make shared keys show on the map as a different colored house icon.

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, but I've been thinking over this for the past 3 years and I finally have realized how much of a piece of shit I am. Now I know what many of you all are thinking right now, what could Spanky have possibly done wrong? Well, that's exactly what I'm going to tell you today. If there is one thing you should understand about me, is I am not the loving, caring, friendly, and responsible friend that you thought I was... I know many of you are some of my biggest fans and have been following me ever since I came to this server. I'm not going to mention any names, but people like @Farmer Steveand his brother@Bag Of Funyuns all have been big fans of me. So now let's get to the point. Approximately three years ago I did the unthinkable. Something so bad that I never thought I could ever be forgiven for. I was irresponsible. I was lazy. I was full of greed. And most of all I wasn't being caring towards my fellow Asylummates. I made Mohawks. Lots of them. More than anyone could ever have dreamed of. I became one of the richest people in the world... but it wasn't long until they find out... The unspeakable crime I committed I exploited making mohawks. When V2 was released, the developers made a small, but consequential mistake. They made the sell price of the crafted mohawks much higher than they should have, making crafting mohawks one of the most profitable ways to make money at the time. I cannot say this enough I am a piece of shit. I should have known when making the mohawks that it made way too much money. So, at the end of my rule break spree (of making mohawks) I was finally caught and given a PERMA BAN. I deserved it. I was banned by a hero. His name was Patato. He saved asylum from one of the worst crises it has ever had I was very upset at this ban so I appealed and he requested my presence on TS3. When he got to speak with me along with my accomplices, he was very angry and rightfully so. My selfishness and greed caused his Canadian thanksgiving to be ruined, tracking me and my accomplices down. I spoke to him in a very respectful tone and explained to him why I believed I was innocent (at the time now I know I was a piece of shit). This further angered him and he started screaming at me with a wrath of rage and again rightfully so. I have never seen someone so angry in my life. He was so yelling so loud I even heard his mother tell him to quiet down in the background. This angered him until the point where he said "you know what!" then the voice still echoes in my head until this day, I heard the TeamSpeak voice go "your rank has been revoked" I was blacklisted and kicked off of the APD. Tears were rolling down my face at this point. I lost the most valuable thing in my life my rank and a friend (patato). Then we were removed from the server. Shortly after that I got a message on my ban appeal saying I would be unbanned when it was patched. I was relieved. I was happy. I was reborn. I still had work to do. I sent my accomplice on a mission where he made a guide on the forums how to make mohawks. He showed the money it made and how he could now afford a private pilot with the mohawk money he made. The post was shortly taken down though... So, time went on and I finally was unbanned and today while I was drinking my morning coffee it occurred me that I should apologize to patato for me wasting his Canadian thanksgiving. I also want to thank him for granting me an unban. Now this short poem is directed towards patato
Dear patato,
Mohawks made me bad
and I know you are sad
You are the best man I ever had
and if you ever come back to me
I would be very glad.
 
IM SORRY PATATO FOR EVERYTHING I DID
 
Love, Spanky
 
 
 

This picture of me starting off into the abyss was me reflecting on my life after the bad descisions I made

This picture is me and my fellow associates being flown around by our private pilot

This picture is of me realizing the destruction I caused

This is a picture of me sitting in the mansion I was able to buy with the money I received

In my five years in this community I have never met more of a conniving little prick then @skimancoleall I ever hear is how admins help out their friends with gear and shit.  This retard won’t even pay me for my trainings honest to god he needs to go.  Not to mention the gall that he has to ban people who break the rules? What a fucking a freak show.  I hear he even plays the server does he know he’s an admin?

I heard he deleted this 
 

Manhua was always a prophet, but no one heard what he said. Poor Tom, my game name will always be Tom Ban, this is my best love for you. Ha, ha, ha.
There is an old Chinese saying: A dog will never change its love of eating shit. Hahaha
Tom: Oh, don't do this to me. Don't leave me. I've been helping you, and you stab me in the back. No, I hate you. Ha, ha, ha

In case of an investigation by any federal entity or similar, I do not have any involvement with this group or with the people in it, I do not know how I am here, probably added by a thirdparty, I do not support any actions by the member of this group.

So how many unbanned cheaters have been rebanned for cheating? lmfao

It’s crazy how active they were, it’s almost like there was a clock that charged them 60 euros a month!!!!

🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I'm fuckin dead! Cheaters calling out people not cheating! Nice memes. Atleast the admins got it right this time with actual evidence.
FREE GALAXY @lilgalaxy
FREE CRUSH
FREE CALI @Mate
💯

I remember he had 80 kills on the sunday dom, then on tuesday he got 32 LMFAO. Fun time spectating, guess theres the explanation

But why, what effect does this have on Lebrons legacy?

Or set cap to 3 houses max

Or set cap to 3 houses max

make that cop a cpt

shutup retard

Today i logged on server 1 and spawned in pyrgos i was trying to buy a car. After buying my car a cop named (Austin Rogers) RDMed me and restrained me. Then he took me to the pyrgos dock dropped me in the water and called me the n word as i drowned........ im a new player but after this im not sure i will be returning to asylum. 

Please change, I get off at 4 pal

Please change, I get off at 4 pal

Yea maybe do a Reschedule for later because I don’t know about most of you but while your playing domination for your shackles/KD I have a job I’ll be at you know like a normal contributing member of society and most of us won’t be getting out of work till then 

In all fairness, most people didnt understand it. That said, youre never going to make everyone happy. Thanks for trying though.
Racial undertone? Oh jesus, go fuck yourself you fucking retard. The fastest way to get insta banned on this server is to start spouting off racist shit. Go fucking ball up in your cry room and rock yourself to sleep you fucking twat.