Emma Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 I guess that's a word to call it, an introduction for someone who has been around since February of 2016. I've seen the ups and downs of this community, made good friends (Love all of you guys) and made enemies as well (Fuck all you guys). The ups were good, the downs sucked, and everything in the middle was a mosh pit of jokes, laughing, giggling, dying, one taps, dying some more, and 3rd person peeking on bank... Dying was a common thing for me during my Asylum days, and it made it a lot of fun. I joined the server nearly 2 years ago and it was a blast, it was new and ArmA was a really cool game. I had a brand new gaming computer that I built myself and I was proud of it and it's been right there during the shit that's gone down on this server. The APD was one of the best things for me to take on, it was fun, it was serious, and I've learned a few things along the way and made some very close acquaintances and enemies all the same. I started playing under the alias Patrick James, my first name and my middle name, then started copying names from ArmA 3 AI like Andrew MacKinnon to name one of the ones I still recall. Then I started going by Padric, my Irish variation of my name as well as a last name that was so fucking hard to pronounce and spell, I didn't have the time to copy/paste it. But this isn't about the role I put on but the mask I've worn for many years of my life. Last May, after a long struggle of self identity, questions, crying, more crying, and nights where I couldn't sleep, it finally came clear to me and the closet door opened so to speak... I came out, and it was even more crying, questions, and long nights after that because fear of the unknown sucks. I didn't come out as gay or bisexual, something that our society is coming to understand and accept more and more, I came out as transgender... I came out as Emma... and goddamn it was both a relief and an overwhelming sense of what's next. For a few months I went to see a therapist to discuss my life and who I saw myself as and more importantly, who I wanted to be. My next goal was hormones, it was a long, scary road with fluffy clouds and rainbows at the end, I just had to get there and finally, I did. On September 19, 2017, I began my official transition from Patrick to Emma and it's been eye opening for me to say the least. We often bash people with depression, who are gay or bi or many of the other sexuality, who believe themselves to be this gender or that gender. We say that they have mental disorders or are less of a person and should be treated as such and we often treat them as lesser individuals. We treat people who have no idea who they are as a physical person and make them feel even less so, driving them to do unspeakable things to themselves and those around them. I'm not making a plea for everyone to be nice to others, but to keep this Forum clean and keep the shit I've already heard out of this chat. I'm opening up to this community because everyone here (mostly) has crossed my path once in-while and we've shared experiences that I still remember to this day. At the end of the day, Asylum was my family for 1,500 hours of my life, this community of squeakers, degenerates, nobodies, somebodies, killers, dealers, escapees, and straight up motherfucking career cops, are all my friends and my virtual family. I might be back, I've been on hiatus for several months now, losing my rank as Corporal in the APD and being, once again, a constable. As a transgender girl, I often hear the term of my "dead" name but I'm not dead, its simply my "old" name, who I was before I finally found myself. "Patrick" isn't dead, that was 20 years of my life and on the outside, looking back, despite the problems I've had, it was a good life but now I'm beginning as who I've always been on the inside, my name is Emma, I am 21 years old, and life... is going to be interesting. Thank you and I love everyone, except for a few... but let's start over again. Emma <3 Skittles, Donald, Kettles and 6 others like this Link to comment
DosWolf Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 (edited) Welcome back to Asylum! I do not believe I really ran into you but heyyo Edited January 12, 2018 by DosWolf Emma and Kettles like this Link to comment
Mayhem Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Yup, deleting my account jk before some admin actually does it The Weeb, SirSwish and Crunchedd like this Link to comment
Glass of Water Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 tl;dr you changed gender and want to introduce your new self ? Link to comment
Emma Posted January 12, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Just now, Glass of Water said: tl;dr you changed gender and want to introduce your new self ? Pretty much, in the past, I've just up and left for awhile without any ifs or buts and I rather not hide anything anymore if I do come back BlackShot likes this Link to comment
Leady Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Welcome back to Asylum. Cya around. Donald and BlackShot like this Link to comment
Weeaboo Jones Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 is this a shitpost or are you really crazy Shepurd, Jonah, 544heu and 20 others like this Link to comment
Kazzanski Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Just now, Patrick James said: I guess that's a word to call it, an introduction for someone who has been around since February of 2016. I've seen the ups and downs of this community, made good friends (Love all of you guys) and made enemies as well (Fuck all you guys). The ups were good, the downs sucked, and everything in the middle was a mosh pit of jokes, laughing, giggling, dying, one taps, dying some more, and 3rd person peeking on bank... Dying was a common thing for me during my Asylum days, and it made it a lot of fun. I joined the server nearly 2 years ago and it was a blast, it was new and ArmA was a really cool game. I had a brand new gaming computer that I built myself and I was proud of it and it's been right there during the shit that's gone down on this server. The APD was one of the best things for me to take on, it was fun, it was serious, and I've learned a few things along the way and made some very close acquaintances and enemies all the same. I started playing under the alias Patrick James, my first name and my middle name, then started copying names from ArmA 3 AI like Andrew MacKinnon to name one of the ones I still recall. Then I started going by Padric, my Irish variation of my name as well as a last name that was so fucking hard to pronounce and spell, I didn't have the time to copy/paste it. But this isn't about the role I put on but the mask I've worn for many years of my life. Last May, after a long struggle of self identity, questions, crying, more crying, and nights where I couldn't sleep, it finally came clear to me and the closet door opened so to speak... I came out, and it was even more crying, questions, and long nights after that because fear of the unknown sucks. I didn't come out as gay or bisexual, something that our society is coming to understand and accept more and more, I came out as transgender... I came out as Emma... and goddamn it was both a relief and an overwhelming sense of what's next. For a few months I went to see a therapist to discuss my life and who I saw myself as and more importantly, who I wanted to be. My next goal was hormones, it was a long, scary road with fluffy clouds and rainbows at the end, I just had to get there and finally, I did. On September 19, 2017, I began my official transition from Patrick to Emma and it's been eye opening for me to say the least. We often bash people with depression, who are gay or bi or many of the other sexuality, who believe themselves to be this gender or that gender. We say that they have mental disorders or are less of a person and should be treated as such and we often treat them as lesser individuals. We treat people who have no idea who they are as a physical person and make them feel even less so, driving them to do unspeakable things to themselves and those around them. I'm not making a plea for everyone to be nice to others, but to keep this Forum clean and keep the shit I've already heard out of this chat. I'm opening up to this community because everyone here (mostly) has crossed my path once in-while and we've shared experiences that I still remember to this day. At the end of the day, Asylum was my family for 1,500 hours of my life, this community of squeakers, degenerates, nobodies, somebodies, killers, dealers, escapees, and straight up motherfucking career cops, are all my friends and my virtual family. I might be back, I've been on hiatus for several months now, losing my rank as Corporal in the APD and being, once again, a constable. As a transgender girl, I often hear the term of my "dead" name but I'm not dead, its simply my "old" name, who I was before I finally found myself. "Patrick" isn't dead, that was 20 years of my life and on the outside, looking back, despite the problems I've had, it was a good life but now I'm beginning as who I've always been on the inside, my name is Emma, I am 21 years old, and life... is going to be interesting. Thank you and I love everyone, except for a few... but let's start over again. Emma <3 Welcome back!!! phenomenal read, wishing you nothing but the best! cya around Kettles, Emma and BlackShot like this Link to comment
Ibraheem Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Just now, Weeaboo Jones said: is this a shitpost or are you really crazy I think he's mentally ill. Azeh, Yung Kali-G, Crunchedd and 9 others like this Link to comment
Carson Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Just now, Patrick James said: You're proving your maturity but I'm used to, you can keep shit posting, this is honestly for the people who I've had actually encounters with and have friendships with, not keyboard warriors yeah maybe you should've kept it between you and those people rather than posting it for the whole forums to see xd Aidzo, Mayhem and Boris like this Link to comment
Emma Posted January 12, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Just now, Carson said: yeah maybe you should've kept it between you and those people rather than posting it for the whole forums to see xd Meh, doesn't bother me to be quite honest, rather be transparent with people. Link to comment
Ibraheem Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Just now, Patrick James said: You're proving your maturity but I'm used to, you can keep shit posting, this is honestly for the people who I've had actually encounters with and have friendships with, not keyboard warriors Be quiet Patrick. Seán That Irish Guy, STON3COLDK1LL3R, Aidzo and 1 other like this Link to comment
Kettles Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 You chose the wrong community to open up to but with that said... Welcome, Emma, remember to stay out of Kavala. Emma, SirSwish, Glass of Water and 3 others like this Link to comment
Emma Posted January 12, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Just now, Kettles said: You chose the wrong community to open up to but with that said... Welcome, Emma, remember to stay out of Kavala. Oh I know but I've never had a problem with you Kettles, ^-^ we've always had a good time together and I missed playing with the good Tunnel Snake players Kettles likes this Link to comment
Kettles Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Just now, Patrick James said: Oh I know but I've never had a problem with you Kettles, ^-^ we've always had a good time together and I missed playing with the good Tunnel Snake players Too bad those days are long gone but I'm glad some good people are still sticking around. Emma likes this Link to comment
Shepurd Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Just now, Patrick James said: Meh, doesn't bother me to be quite honest, rather be transparent with people. we get it just memeing pls no modqueue we welcome him Mayhem, Spederino, Professor Pericles and 12 others like this Link to comment
Emma Posted January 12, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Just now, Shepurd said: we get it just memeing pls no modqueue we welcome emma I didn't even realize that, that made me smile =D Link to comment
Weeaboo Jones Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Carson, Bikstok, thero and 9 others like this Link to comment
Berg Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 this post is gonna get pretty y i k e s pretty quick Link to comment
Emma Posted January 12, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Just now, Berg said: this post is gonna get pretty y i k e s pretty quick Welcome to Asylum where integrity has been left outside to rot Link to comment
Mitch (IFRIT) Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Donald, The Ivan, Emma and 10 others like this Link to comment
BaDaBiNg_10-8 Posted January 12, 2018 Report Share Posted January 12, 2018 Welcome to Asylum, would you like me to change your Forum name to "Emma." Best wishes. STON3COLDK1LL3R, Azeh, Kazzanski and 5 others like this Link to comment
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